Sunday, February 25, 2018

The Simpsons Movie - Subtitles (en)

_________________________________
(DRUMROLL)
_________________________________
(ROUSING ORCHESTRAL
FANFARE PLAYING)
_________________________________
(RALPH SCREECHILY
SINGING WITH FANFARE)
_________________________________
(FANFARE ENDS)
_________________________________
(LOW, PULSATING RUMBLE)
_________________________________
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
_________________________________
(TRIUMPHANT THEME PLAYING)
_________________________________
(ORCHESTRA CRESCENDOES)
_________________________________
(PERCUSSION BOOMING)
_________________________________
We come in peace
for cats and mice everywhere.
_________________________________
(SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(GLASS BREAKS, AIR HISSING)
_________________________________
(POPPING)
_________________________________
(LAUGHING)
_________________________________
(ORCHESTRAL FANFARE PLAYING)
_________________________________
(CROWD CHEERING)
_________________________________
Hey, how you doing? Good to see you.
Thanks for coming out.
_________________________________
(PRESIDENTIAL SONG PLAYING)
_________________________________
SCRATCHY: Itchy... Itchy...
_________________________________
(AIR HORN BLASTS)
_________________________________
(QUIET, OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS)
_________________________________
(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC
GROWS LOUDER)
_________________________________
(SNAPS FINGERS)
_________________________________
(CLICK)
_________________________________
(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)
_________________________________
(MUSIC CRESCENDOES)
_________________________________
(LOUD BUZZING)
_________________________________
(MISSILES RUMBLING)
_________________________________
(MISSILES WHIZZING
THROUGH AIR)
_________________________________
(SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(MISSILE WHIZZING)
_________________________________
(MECHANICAL RATCHETING)
_________________________________
(METALLIC CLUNK)
_________________________________
(LOUD EXPLOSION)
_________________________________
Boring!
_________________________________
LISA: Dad, we can't see the movie!
_________________________________
I can't believe we're paying to see
something we get on TV for free.
_________________________________
If you ask me, everybody
in this theater is a giant sucker,
_________________________________
especially you!
_________________________________
(CHORUS SINGING)
_________________________________
♪ Movie on the big screen!
_________________________________
(THEME PLAYING)
_________________________________
(CREAKING, THUD)
_________________________________
(PEN SQUEAKS)
_________________________________
(MARTIN HOWLING)
_________________________________
(ROCK BAND JOINS IN
ON THE SIMPSONS THEME)
_________________________________
(CROWD CHEERING)
_________________________________
(STRAINED GRUNTING)
_________________________________
Excuse me, my heinie is dipping.
_________________________________
-(OTHERS GROAN IN DISGUST)
-(LOUD THUD, GRUNT)
_________________________________
♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
_________________________________
♪ Hey! Hey!
_________________________________
♪ Hey! Hey!
_________________________________
(TO THE SIMPSONS THEME)
♪ Da, da, da, da-da, da, da
_________________________________
♪ Da, da-da-da-da
_________________________________
CROWD: ♪ Da-da-da-da-da
♪ Da-da-da-da! ♪
_________________________________
(SONG ENDS, CHEERING)
_________________________________
All right, well,
thanks a lot for coming.
_________________________________
We've been playing
for three and a half hours.
_________________________________
Now we'd like just a minute of your time
_________________________________
to say something
about the environment!
_________________________________
-(CROWD QUIETS)
-(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
_________________________________
(LOUD BOOING)
_________________________________
MAN 1: You suck!
MAN 2: Shut up and play!
_________________________________
-Preachy!
-We're not being preachy.
_________________________________
But the pollution in your lake,
it's dissolving our barge!
_________________________________
(CROWD BOOING)
_________________________________
I thought they touched on a vital issue.
_________________________________
I beg to differ.
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
(SCREECHY GASP)
_________________________________
Gentlemen, it's been an honor
playing with you tonight.
_________________________________
(PLAYING
"NEARER MY GOD TO THEE")
_________________________________
(ORGAN PLAYING)
_________________________________
For the latest rock band
to die in our town,
_________________________________
Lord, hear our prayer.
_________________________________
CONGREGATION:
Lord, hear our prayer.
_________________________________
(CAR SCREECHES TO A HALT)
_________________________________
MARGE: I hate being late.
HOMER: Well, I hate going.
_________________________________
Why can't I worship the Lord
in my own way...
_________________________________
by praying like hell on my deathbed?
_________________________________
MARGE: Homer,
they can hear you inside.
_________________________________
HOMER: Relax. Those pious
morons are too busy
_________________________________
talking to their phony-baloney God.
_________________________________
(QUIETLY) How you doing?
Peace be with you. Praise Jebus.
_________________________________
(GRAMPA SNORING)
_________________________________
(ORGAN PLAYING QUIETLY)
_________________________________
(VIDEO GAME BEEPING)
_________________________________
-(VIDEO GAME GUNFIRE)
-(BABIES SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(VIDEO GAME SOUNDS STOP)
_________________________________
Now, today I'd like to try
something a little different.
_________________________________
I'm going to call on one of you!
_________________________________
(MAN YELPS)
_________________________________
(CHUCKLES) Now, the word
of God dwells within everyone.
_________________________________
I want you to let that word out.
_________________________________
-Let your spirit...
-NED: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
_________________________________
(FRUSTRATED SIGH) What is it, Ned?
_________________________________
The good Lord is telling me
to confess to something.
_________________________________
(QUIETLY)
Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay.
_________________________________
An immodest sense of pride
in our community!
_________________________________
Somebody else?
_________________________________
Let the Lord's light shine upon you.
_________________________________
-(HEAVENLY CHOIR SINGING)
-(SNORING)
_________________________________
Feel the spirit.
_________________________________
Let it out!
_________________________________
Horrible, horrible things
are going to happen!
_________________________________
And they're gonna happen to you
and you and you!
_________________________________
-And you!
-(GASPS)
_________________________________
Whoa, Nelly.
_________________________________
(GOOFY GASPING)
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
(BEEP)
_________________________________
People of Springfield,
heed this warning!
_________________________________
Twisted tail!
_________________________________
A thousand eyes!
_________________________________
Trapped forever!
_________________________________
(GRUNTING LIKE THREE STOOGES)
_________________________________
Dad, do something!
_________________________________
This book doesn't have any answers!
_________________________________
Beware, beware! Time is short!
_________________________________
EPA! EPA! EPA!
_________________________________
(LOUD THUD)
_________________________________
Believe me! Believe me!
_________________________________
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
_________________________________
(CONTINUES SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
_________________________________
Thanks for listening.
_________________________________
Okay, who wants waffles?
_________________________________
ALL: I do! I do! I do!
_________________________________
Wait a minute. What about Grandpa?
_________________________________
-I want syrup.
-I want strawberries!
_________________________________
Something happened to that man.
_________________________________
I'll tell you what happened to him. A
certain someone had a senior moment.
_________________________________
But that's okay, because we love him
and we got a free rug out of it.
_________________________________
What is the point of
going to church every Sunday
_________________________________
when if someone we love has a
genuine religious experience,
_________________________________
we ignore it? Right, Grandpa?
_________________________________
I want bananas on my waffles!
_________________________________
I rest my case.
_________________________________
I'm not dropping this.
_________________________________
Wait a minute! I'm still in the car.
_________________________________
Oh, right.
_________________________________
Hmm...
_________________________________
"Take out hornets' nest."
_________________________________
(HORNETS BUZZING)
_________________________________
(FRENZIED BUZZING)
_________________________________
Check. "Fix sinkhole."
_________________________________
(QUIET SUCKING)
_________________________________
(SUCKING CONTINUES)
_________________________________
-(PLOP)
-(SUCKING STOPS)
_________________________________
Check.
_________________________________
"Reshingle roof"?
_________________________________
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
_________________________________
Steady...
_________________________________
Steady...
_________________________________
-(LOUD SQUISH)
-HOMER: Ow-how-how!
_________________________________
-Ow-how-how!
-(BART LAUGHING)
_________________________________
(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
_________________________________
(YELLS) Why, you little...
_________________________________
I'll teach you to laugh
at something that's funny!
_________________________________
(EXHALES) You know, we are on
the roof. We could have some fun.
_________________________________
What kind of fun?
_________________________________
How about a dare contest?
_________________________________
That sounds fun. I dare you to...
_________________________________
climb the TV antenna.
_________________________________
Piece of cake.
_________________________________
-Earthquake!
-(LAUGHING)
_________________________________
(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________
(LAUGHING AND GASPS)
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
Aftershock!
_________________________________
-(PLAYFUL GRUNTING)
-(BART LAUGHING)
_________________________________
NED: Homer, I don't mean to be
a nervous Pervis or anything,
_________________________________
but if he falls, couldn't that
make your boy a parapleg-erino?
_________________________________
Shut up, Flanders.
_________________________________
-Yeah, shut up, Flanders.
-Well said, boy.
_________________________________
BOTH: Yeah!
_________________________________
Steady... Steady...
_________________________________
Steady...
_________________________________
HOMER: Ah!
_________________________________
-(THUDS)
-(BART LAUGHING)
_________________________________
(KNOCKING)
_________________________________
LISA: Hello. Sorry to bother you
on a Sunday,
_________________________________
but I'm sure you're as worried about
the pollution
_________________________________
-in Lake Springfield as I am.
-(DOOR SLAMS)
_________________________________
(KNOCKING)
_________________________________
LISA: Lake Springfield has
higher levels of mercury than even...
_________________________________
(DOOR SLAMS)
_________________________________
SWEET OLD LADY: Why, it's
the little girl who saved my cat.
_________________________________
LISA: Lake Springfield is...
_________________________________
-(DOOR SLAMS)
-(SIGHS)
_________________________________
(DOORS SLAMMING)
_________________________________
(DOG YELPS)
_________________________________
(DOOR SLAMS)
_________________________________
-(BELL RINGS)
-(SHIP'S HORN BLOWS)
_________________________________
(GROANS) Oh...
_________________________________
-(DOOR CREAKS)
-Come on over, Lisa.
_________________________________
You can canvass me
as long as you want.
_________________________________
Milhouse, you don't care
about the environment.
_________________________________
Hey! I am very passionate
about the planet!
_________________________________
Say global warming is a myth!
_________________________________
It's a myth! Further study is needed!
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
That's for selling out your beliefs!
_________________________________
Oh, poor Milhouse.
_________________________________
-Dream coming true.
-(KNOCKING)
_________________________________
COLIN: Are you aware that
a leaky faucet can waste over...
_________________________________
-(DOOR SLAMS)
-2,000 gallons a year.
_________________________________
-And turning off your lights can save...
-Enough energy to power Pittsburgh.
_________________________________
And if we just kept our
thermostats at 68 in winter...
_________________________________
We'd be free from our dependency
on foreign oil in 17 years!
_________________________________
-I'm Colin.
-(GASPS SOFTLY)
_________________________________
I haven't seen you at school.
_________________________________
Just moved from Ireland.
My dad's a musician.
_________________________________
-Is he...
-He's not Bono.
_________________________________
I just thought because you're
Irish and you care about...
_________________________________
He's not Bono.
_________________________________
Do you play?
_________________________________
Just piano, guitar,
trumpet, drums and bass.
_________________________________
LISA: (THINKING) He's pure gold!
For once in your life, be cool.
_________________________________
So is your name as pretty as your face?
_________________________________
Oh!
_________________________________
(SCREECHES) Ha! Ha!
_________________________________
You okay there?
_________________________________
(LISA GAGGING)
_________________________________
(CHOKING AND GIGGLING)
_________________________________
Twisted tail! A thousand eyes!
Trapped forever! EPA! EPA!
_________________________________
"EPA." What could that be?
_________________________________
I believe it's the sound
the Green Lantern made
_________________________________
when Sinestro threw him
into a vat of acid.
_________________________________
Epa!
_________________________________
Yeah. Uh, thanks for coming over.
_________________________________
Thanks for giving me
your pregnancy pants.
_________________________________
I've never known comfort like this.
_________________________________
(ELASTIC SLAPS)
_________________________________
-(BB'S PINGING)
-(HOMER GRUNTING)
_________________________________
D'oh! Oh, why did I... Oh! Suggest this?
_________________________________
(SHRIEKING) Oh! Aah!
Ow! Ee! Aah! Aah!
_________________________________
(CONTINUES SHRIEKING)
_________________________________
(TIMER DINGS)
_________________________________
All right, boy, time for the ultimate dare.
_________________________________
I dare you to skateboard
to Krusty Burger and back...
_________________________________
naked.
_________________________________
-How naked?
-Fourth base.
_________________________________
But girls might see my doodle.
_________________________________
(MOCKING) Oh, I see. Then
I hereby declare you "chicken for life."
_________________________________
Every morning, you'll wake up
to "Good morning, chicken."
_________________________________
At your wedding, I'll sing...
_________________________________
(CLUCKING WEDDING SONG)
_________________________________
(SURPRISED CLUCK)
_________________________________
(SURF ROCK PLAYING)
_________________________________
(PEOPLE GASP)
_________________________________
I like men now.
_________________________________
Don't look where I'm pointing!
_________________________________
(SIREN WAILING)
_________________________________
WIGGUM: Stop in the name of
American squeamishness!
_________________________________
-(TIRES SCREECH)
-(DRIVERS GASPING)
_________________________________
Boys, before we eat, don't forget
to thank the Lord for this bountiful...
_________________________________
Penis!
_________________________________
BOTH: Bountiful penis.
_________________________________
Amen.
_________________________________
(GLASS SQUEAKING)
_________________________________
Listen, kid, nobody
likes wearing clothes in public,
_________________________________
but, you know, it-it's the law.
_________________________________
Lunchtime!
_________________________________
You can't just leave me out here.
_________________________________
Don't worry. We found
a friend for you to play with.
_________________________________
Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
_________________________________
(HOARSELY) Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha...
_________________________________
Nelson, honey, where have you been?
_________________________________
Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
_________________________________
Dad!
_________________________________
What seems to be the problem, officers?
_________________________________
Tell them you dared me to do it.
_________________________________
If that's true, then you should be
taking the rap here, not your son.
_________________________________
And what happens to me if it's my fault?
_________________________________
You'll have to attend
a one-hour parenting class.
_________________________________
It was all his idea!
He's out of control, I tell you!
_________________________________
I'm at my wit's end!
_________________________________
(SOBBING) It's so...
_________________________________
WIGGUM: See you in court, kid.
_________________________________
Okay, son, let's get some lunch.
_________________________________
Did you at least bring my clothes?
_________________________________
Shirt, socks, everything you need.
_________________________________
-You didn't bring my pants!
-Who am I, Tommy Bahama?
_________________________________
(SIGHS) Oh, this is
the worst day of my life.
_________________________________
The worst day of your life so far.
_________________________________
-Say, Bart?
-What do you want, Flanders?
_________________________________
If you need pants, I carry an extra pair.
_________________________________
I mean, you know how boys are,
always praying through the knees.
_________________________________
Why are you helping me?
I'm not your kid.
_________________________________
We're neighbors. I'm sure your father
would do the same for my boys.
_________________________________
HOMER: Thank you.
_________________________________
(CHOMPING) Mm, mm, mm...
_________________________________
(MUMBLING)
_________________________________
-Hey, what's with you?
-You really want to know?
_________________________________
Of course I do.
_________________________________
What kind of a father
wouldn't care about...
_________________________________
A pig wearing a hat!
_________________________________
DIRECTOR: Action.
_________________________________
Hey, hey! It's your old pal Krusty,
for my new pork sandwich, the Klogger!
_________________________________
If you can find a greasier sandwich,
you're in Mexico!
_________________________________
(GOOFY LAUGHING)
_________________________________
Mmm!
_________________________________
DIRECTOR: And we're clear.
_________________________________
Blech! Perfect. Cut, print, kill the pig.
_________________________________
(SQUEALING)
_________________________________
What? You can't kill him
if he's wearing people clothes.
_________________________________
(SQUEALS)
_________________________________
(SQUEAKS, SNORTS)
_________________________________
(MAN SINGING
ROMANTIC POP SONG)
_________________________________
-You're coming home with me.
-(SQUEALS AND SNORTS)
_________________________________
(GUNSHOTS AND BABIES CRYING)
_________________________________
"A thousand eyes." What could that be?
_________________________________
Hmm, I'm pretty sure
a thousand is a number.
_________________________________
Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
_________________________________
Actually, it's aged me horribly.
_________________________________
Then say hello to the newest Simpson!
_________________________________
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________
Homer!
_________________________________
(QUIET GRUNT)
_________________________________
I believe what happened in church
was a warning about precisely this.
_________________________________
Please, get rid of that pig!
_________________________________
Oh, you're gonna love him.
Look, he does an impression of you.
_________________________________
(SQUEALS LOUDLY)
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
(LAUGHING) You nailed her.
_________________________________
He also does me.
_________________________________
(BELCHES)
_________________________________
(MARGE LAUGHING)
_________________________________
You smiled! I'm off the hook!
_________________________________
Ooh.
_________________________________
(HOMER HUMMING)
_________________________________
Oh, you have so many looks.
_________________________________
(PLOPPER SNORTS)
_________________________________
(SIGHS)
_________________________________
(KISSING)
_________________________________
(VACUUM WHIRRING)
_________________________________
Hmm, so that's what snug is.
_________________________________
HOMER: Who's a good pig?
_________________________________
(BLOWING RASPBERRIES)
_________________________________
Who's a good pig?
_________________________________
NED: Rough day, huh, son?
_________________________________
You don't know what rough is, sister.
_________________________________
(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________
Bart, you know, whenever my boys
bake up a batch of frownies,
_________________________________
I take them fishing.
_________________________________
Does your dad ever take you fishing?
_________________________________
-(ELECTRICAL BUZZING)
-Dad!
_________________________________
It's not fair to use a bug zapper
to catch the fish.
_________________________________
If you love fish like I do,
you want them to die with dignity.
_________________________________
(LOUD ZAPPING)
_________________________________
(GURGLING)
_________________________________
I think I have a nibble. (SCREAMS)
_________________________________
-(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)
-(SCREAMING)
_________________________________
-(SCREAMING)
-(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)
_________________________________
-(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)
-(SCREAMING)
_________________________________
I think fishing might be
more fun with you.
_________________________________
Oh, great. Now, how about
I fix you some cocoa?
_________________________________
No way, cocoa's for wusses.
_________________________________
Well, sir, if you change your mind,
it's on the windowsill.
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
(SLURPING)
_________________________________
BART: Oh, my God.
_________________________________
Oh, wait. I didn't tell you the
best part. He loves the environment.
_________________________________
Oh, wait, I still didn't tell you
the best part. He's got an Irish brogue.
_________________________________
No, no, wait, wait!
I still didn't tell you the best part!
_________________________________
He's not imaginary.
_________________________________
Oh, honey, that's great.
_________________________________
But the very best thing
is that he listens to you.
_________________________________
Because nothing means more
than for a man to...
_________________________________
How did the pig tracks
get on the ceiling?
_________________________________
♪ Spider Pig, Spider-Pig
_________________________________
♪ Does whatever a Spider Pig does
_________________________________
♪ Can he swing from a web?
_________________________________
♪ No, he can't, he's a pig
_________________________________
♪ Look out He is the Spider-Pig.
_________________________________
(DUCKS QUACKING)
_________________________________
Are we having fun yet?
_________________________________
We are now. You've got a bite.
_________________________________
Whoa, mama!
_________________________________
Oh, no, my good pole!
_________________________________
(CHOKING)
_________________________________
Huh? You're not strangling me.
_________________________________
What the...
Why, strangling's only good for...
_________________________________
Well, it's not really good for anything.
_________________________________
I think the only time
you should lay hands on a boy
_________________________________
is when you're giving him
a good old pat on the back.
_________________________________
Hey, what the hell are you...
_________________________________
Oh... One more time.
_________________________________
-(INCOHERENT RAMBLING)
-(MEOWING)
_________________________________
-(BOTTLES CLINKING)
-Honey, I'm home.
_________________________________
(SHRIEKS)
_________________________________
(GROWLS)
_________________________________
(GUITAR PLAYING SWEETLY)
_________________________________
LISA: We are at
the tipping point, people.
_________________________________
If we don't do something now, uh...
_________________________________
I'm sorry, I lost my train of thought.
Isn't he dreamy?
_________________________________
-Agreed.
-(GAVEL BANGS)
_________________________________
Okay, so here's the bottom line.
_________________________________
If we don't change our ways right now,
_________________________________
pollution in Lake Springfield
will be at this level.
_________________________________
(MOTOR WHIRRING)
_________________________________
That's not so bad.
_________________________________
-No, the lift is stuck.
-(GEARS GRINDING)
_________________________________
(WHIRRING AND GRINDING)
_________________________________
(CRASHING)
_________________________________
Am I getting through to anyone?
_________________________________
Hell, yeah. We need a new one
of those things.
_________________________________
All in favor of a new scissor lift say aye.
_________________________________
-CROWD: Aye.
-No!
_________________________________
This lake is just one piece of trash
away from a toxic nightmare.
_________________________________
But I knew you wouldn't listen,
_________________________________
so I took the liberty of pouring water
from the lake
_________________________________
in all your drinking glasses.
_________________________________
(SPITTING AND GROANING)
_________________________________
MOE: This is why we should hate kids.
_________________________________
This is serious, people.
_________________________________
No more dumping in the lake.
I hereby declare a state of emergency.
_________________________________
Code black.
_________________________________
(GASPING)
_________________________________
Black? That's the worst color there is.
_________________________________
-No offense there, Carl.
-I get it all the time.
_________________________________
(TRIUMPHANT
ORCHESTRATION PLAYS)
_________________________________
(SIZZLING)
_________________________________
(MACHINERY WHIRRING)
_________________________________
Uh, sorry, sorry. No dumping in the lake.
_________________________________
Fine. I will put my yard
trimmings in a car compactor.
_________________________________
Uh... Chief, I think there
was a dead body in there.
_________________________________
I thought that too,
until he said "yard trimmings."
_________________________________
You got to learn to listen, Lou.
_________________________________
Let us now make sure this barrier
is completely idiot proof.
_________________________________
-Cletus.
-Yessum?
_________________________________
Try to dump something in the lake.
_________________________________
Okay.
_________________________________
I can't. I-I simply can't.
_________________________________
-Brilliant.
-Very effective.
_________________________________
(SNORTS)
_________________________________
(KISSING)
_________________________________
Ayayay!
_________________________________
Un burro amoroso!
_________________________________
Don't get any ideas. Huh?
_________________________________
(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________
Maybe we should kiss
just to break the tension.
_________________________________
What's going on here?
_________________________________
Uh, nothing, nothing.
_________________________________
I'm not sure that pig
should be in the house.
_________________________________
And by the way,
what are you doing with his leavings?
_________________________________
Don't worry. I've devised a most
elegant solution.
_________________________________
(GROANS) Oh, it's leaking.
_________________________________
It's not leaking, it's overflowing.
_________________________________
He filled up the whole silo
in just two days?
_________________________________
Well, I helped.
_________________________________
Homer, stop. I know it's easy
for your mind to wander...
_________________________________
(CYMBALS CLICKING)
_________________________________
(MUFFLED) I want you
to really concentrate on me.
_________________________________
I can't escape the feeling that this is
the crisis Grandpa warned us about.
_________________________________
You have to dispose
of that waste properly.
_________________________________
Okay, Marge, I will.
_________________________________
You can take Spider Pig with you.
_________________________________
He's not Spider-Pig anymore.
He's Harry Plopper.
_________________________________
(SNORTS)
_________________________________
(FAINT CELL PHONE CHIMING)
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
Y'ello.
_________________________________
Homer, you got to get over here.
_________________________________
Health inspector just
shut down the doughnut store,
_________________________________
and they're giving out free doughnuts.
_________________________________
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.
I just got one thing I got to do first.
_________________________________
Well, you better hurry!
They're going fast.
_________________________________
(GUNSHOT)
_________________________________
Whoa, that was close.
_________________________________
Oh!
_________________________________
(TIRES SCREECHING)
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
(GURGLING)
_________________________________
(GURGLING)
_________________________________
(FIZZING)
_________________________________
Uh-oh.
_________________________________
SKULL: Evil!
_________________________________
Drive, drive, drive!
_________________________________
-(SNORTING)
-Oh, right.
_________________________________
(TIRES SCREECHING)
_________________________________
(CHITTERING)
_________________________________
(SNARLING)
_________________________________
(BUBBLING)
_________________________________
(GROWLING)
_________________________________
(GIGGLES)
_________________________________
Look at that. You can see the
four states that border Springfield.
_________________________________
Ohio, Nevada, Maine and Kentucky.
_________________________________
Oh, yeah.
_________________________________
And if you look real close,
you can almost... (SHRIEKS)
_________________________________
Well, this certainly seems odd,
_________________________________
but who am I to question
the work of the Almighty?
_________________________________
Oh, we thank you, Lord, for
this mighty fine intelligent design.
_________________________________
Good job.
_________________________________
BART: Jabbity, jabbity, jab, jab, jab!
_________________________________
Hey, jab one more eye,
and it's a federal crime.
_________________________________
-Who are you?
-Environmental Protection Agency.
_________________________________
Russ Cargill, head of the E.P.A.,
here to see the president.
_________________________________
(BUZZING)
_________________________________
(RAPID BUZZING)
_________________________________
Mr. President.
_________________________________
Ja. That is me.
_________________________________
Pollution in Springfield
has reached crisis levels.
_________________________________
Oh... I hate this job. Everything's
crisis this and end of the world that.
_________________________________
Nobody opens with a joke.
I miss Danny DeVito.
_________________________________
You want a joke, huh?
Stop me if you've heard this one.
_________________________________
-(GROWLING)
-(GASPS)
_________________________________
Look at those angry eyes
and giant teeth.
_________________________________
It's like Christmas
at the Kennedy compound.
_________________________________
You know, sir, when you
made me head of the E.P.A.,
_________________________________
you were applauded for appointing one
of the most successful men in America
_________________________________
to the least successful
agency in government.
_________________________________
And why did I take the job?
_________________________________
'Cause I'm a rich man who
wanted to give something back.
_________________________________
Not the money, but something.
_________________________________
So here is our chance to kick
some ass for Mother Earth.
_________________________________
I'm listening.
_________________________________
Well, I've narrowed your choices
down to five unthinkable options.
_________________________________
Each will cause untold misery...
_________________________________
I pick number three.
_________________________________
You don't even want to read them first?
_________________________________
I was elected to lead, not to read.
Number three!
_________________________________
(LOW RUMBLING)
_________________________________
(INHALER WHOOSING)
_________________________________
(CHOKING)
_________________________________
(RUMBLING)
_________________________________
(SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(ROTORS WHIRRING)
_________________________________
(CRACKING AND RUMBLING)
_________________________________
(GASPING) We're being
sealed in a dome! (YELLS)
_________________________________
(THUDS) Whoa!
_________________________________
Oh, what do I do?
I don't know what to do.
_________________________________
If I stay I'm trapped, if I leave I'm alone.
_________________________________
Oh, God! In, out, in, out...
_________________________________
I never saw Venice.
_________________________________
(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)
_________________________________
(CRASHING)
_________________________________
EPA! EPA! Trapped forever.
_________________________________
It's all come true.
_________________________________
That crazy old man in church was right.
_________________________________
(SUCTION POPPING)
_________________________________
(SCREAMING) D'oh-ome!
_________________________________
(INDISTINCT MURMURING)
_________________________________
(SIRENS APPROACHING)
_________________________________
(GASPING AND SHRIEKING)
_________________________________
All right, men, open fire.
_________________________________
-(GUNSHOTS RICOCHETING)
-COPS: Ow!
_________________________________
Who's hurt? Raise your hands.
_________________________________
(GROANING)
_________________________________
Without the attitude.
_________________________________
People, people.
I have an important announcement.
_________________________________
I have just perfected
an acid-firing super-drill
_________________________________
which can cut through anything.
_________________________________
-Hey, that's cool.
-(CROWD GASPING)
_________________________________
It's right there.
_________________________________
Just outside... of the dome.
_________________________________
(CROWD GROANING)
_________________________________
(BANGING)
_________________________________
What ruthless madmen
could have done this to us?
_________________________________
CARGILL:
The United States government.
_________________________________
(GASPING AND MURMURING)
_________________________________
(STATIC HISSES)
_________________________________
My name is Russ Cargill,
and I'm head of the E.P.A.
_________________________________
(INSDISTNICT MURMURING)
_________________________________
The what?
_________________________________
-Environmental Protection Agency.
-LENNY: Come again?
_________________________________
Look, I'm a man on a big TV. Just listen.
_________________________________
-Springfield has become...
-MAN 1: Whoo! Springfield!
_________________________________
the most polluted city
in the history of the planet.
_________________________________
KRUSTY: Drama queen!
_________________________________
To keep your poisons from spreading,
_________________________________
your government has
sealed you all within this dome.
_________________________________
(GASPING)
_________________________________
Believe me,
it's the last thing we wanted to do.
_________________________________
I do own the company that makes
the dome, but that's beside the point.
_________________________________
What, are you telling us
we're trapped like rats?
_________________________________
No, rats can't be trapped this easily.
You're trapped like... carrots.
_________________________________
Wait. We couldn't be more polluted.
Everyone stopped dumping in the lake.
_________________________________
Apparently someone
didn't get the message.
_________________________________
Act natural.
_________________________________
(SNORTS)
_________________________________
Hey, buddy, sooner or later, people are
going to come by and discover this.
_________________________________
Don't worry about that. We found
a way to take you off the map.
_________________________________
G.P.S.: Coming up on your right...
_________________________________
-(BEEP)
-Nothing.
_________________________________
This is Kent Brockman,
reporting to you on a crisis so serious
_________________________________
it has its own name and theme music.
_________________________________
(DRAMATIC THEME PLAYING)
_________________________________
The dome has put
an end to life as we know it.
_________________________________
The town is running low on supplies
of everything from gasoline to Botox.
_________________________________
Moment, please.
_________________________________
Now, as always, (CHUCKLES)
we end our news on the lighter side.
_________________________________
It's the time of year when
the swallows return to Springfield.
_________________________________
(CHIRPING)
_________________________________
(THUDDING)
_________________________________
(SCREECHING ALONG GLASS)
_________________________________
(MEOWING)
_________________________________
(WIND RUSTLING TREES)
_________________________________
(MARGE SIGHS DEEPLY)
_________________________________
I think the thing I miss most
is a simple summer breeze.
_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________
Maggie?
_________________________________
(SUCKS PACIFIER)
_________________________________
ANNOUNCER: We've got dome
wax, dome polish, dome freshener,
_________________________________
all your dome needs at Dome Depot,
located at the intersection
_________________________________
of the 105 Freeway and the dome.
_________________________________
CHORUS: Dome Depot!
_________________________________
(BELL DINGS)
_________________________________
-Maggie got out! Maggie got out!
-Huh?
_________________________________
Maggie was right there.
Just outside the dome.
_________________________________
Marge, she's right here.
_________________________________
Hmm?
_________________________________
This dome can play tricks on you.
You just have to keep calm and...
_________________________________
Oh, my God!
_________________________________
I'm out of the dome.
Fresh air! Freedom!
_________________________________
(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
_________________________________
I'll write you. Lead good lives.
_________________________________
(HOMER GROANS)
_________________________________
(MARGE SIGHS HEAVILY)
_________________________________
(SUCKS PACIFIER)
_________________________________
Good evening, this is Kent Brockman.
Efforts to find out whose selfish crime
_________________________________
against the environment caused
our entrapment have been fruitless.
_________________________________
(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________
-Until moments ago,
-(SHRIEKS)
_________________________________
a shocking discovery has been made
here at Lake Springfield.
_________________________________
That could be anybody's pig-crap silo.
_________________________________
-(SHRIEKS)
-(GASPS)
_________________________________
Homer! It was you!
_________________________________
You single-handedly killed this town.
_________________________________
I know. It's weird.
_________________________________
Just a reminder. This station
does not endorse vigilante justice.
_________________________________
Unless it gets results. Which it will.
_________________________________
(BUZZER SOUNDING)
_________________________________
You didn't listen to me
after I warned you!
_________________________________
Don't worry, nobody
watches this stupid show.
_________________________________
Hmm, what's that ominous
glow in the distance?
_________________________________
(CLAMORING)
_________________________________
MOB: (CHANTING)
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
_________________________________
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
_________________________________
Marge, look, those idiots
don't even know where we live.
_________________________________
-MOB: Kill! Kill! Kill!
-D'oh!
_________________________________
MOB: (CHANTING)
We want Homer! We want Homer!
_________________________________
You monster! You monster!
_________________________________
Uh, did you see the news?
_________________________________
Honey, come on,
we have bigger problems.
_________________________________
But I'm so angry.
_________________________________
You're a woman.
You can hold on to it forever.
_________________________________
(SNIFFLES)
_________________________________
Okay.
_________________________________
(CHANTING CONTINUES)
_________________________________
Homer, you have to go out there,
face that mob
_________________________________
and apologize for what you did.
_________________________________
I would, but I'm afraid if I
open the door, they'll take all of you.
_________________________________
CARL: No, we won't.
We just want Homer!
_________________________________
Well, maybe not you,
but they'll kill Grandpa.
_________________________________
GRAMPA: I'm part of the mob!
_________________________________
Teeny, take out the baby!
_________________________________
(SCREECHES)
_________________________________
(SQUEALING)
_________________________________
(CLAMORING)
_________________________________
(SWEET, ROMANTIC
THEME PLAYING)
_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________
Here, let me get that for you.
_________________________________
(DISAPPOINTED SIGH)
_________________________________
(RATTLING)
_________________________________
Stay back. I got a chain saw!
_________________________________
(IMITATES CHAIN SAW REVVING)
_________________________________
(SLOWLY, WEAKLY MAKING
CHAIN SAW SOUNDS)
_________________________________
Uh-oh.
_________________________________
(MOB SHOUTING)
_________________________________
Bart! Crawl across, hurry!
_________________________________
But if they see you
trying to help us, they'll kill you.
_________________________________
Oh, pshaw! I'm sure your
father would do the same for...
_________________________________
Point taken. Now, hustle your bustles.
_________________________________
Archers!
_________________________________
I'm using a red arrow,
so I know who I kill.
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
No, Plopper.
If you push that, daddy will die.
_________________________________
(SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
Hey, my luck's beginning to turn.
_________________________________
Wait! There's something I have to get.
_________________________________
(GASPS) Ooh!
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
-What'd you get?
-Our wedding video.
_________________________________
-We have a wedding video?
-KRUSTY: Torch his gas tank!
_________________________________
We lost 'em.
_________________________________
Yahoo!
_________________________________
(HOMER LAUGHING)
_________________________________
Ooh! Up here!
_________________________________
Get 'em! Get 'em!
_________________________________
HOMER: Little help?
_________________________________
(HOMER HOWLS)
_________________________________
You know, the word "apology"...
_________________________________
is tossed around a lot these days,
but when it comes from in here...
_________________________________
D'oh!
_________________________________
(HOMER SCREAMS)
_________________________________
Mom, what are we gonna do?
_________________________________
Maggie, not now.
_________________________________
We'll play later.
_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________
The sinkhole. Follow me, kids.
_________________________________
BART: Geronimo!
LISA: Sacajawea!
_________________________________
So long, losers.
_________________________________
(THUD)
_________________________________
Uh-oh.
_________________________________
The top of his head is still showing.
Claw at it!
_________________________________
(HOMER SHRIEKING)
_________________________________
NELSON: Ha-ha!
_________________________________
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________
(CAR ALARM WAILING)
_________________________________
(DEEP RUMBLING)
_________________________________
(CROWD SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(CLOCK CHIMING)
_________________________________
(CUCKOOS)
_________________________________
Well, they're China's problem now.
_________________________________
(KNOCKING)
_________________________________
Colin!
_________________________________
(NO AUDIO)
_________________________________
I can't hear you!
_________________________________
(MARKER SQUEAKING)
_________________________________
Oh!
_________________________________
♪ Da, da-da, da-da, da, da... ♪
_________________________________
I never thought my life would have an
absolutely perfect moment, but this...
_________________________________
(SINGSONGY) Lisa's got a
boyfriend that she'll never see again!
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
Perfect.
_________________________________
(SIRENS WAILING)
_________________________________
(TIRES SCREECHING)
_________________________________
-What do we do?
-Now we run.
_________________________________
I'm afraid we lost them, sir.
_________________________________
Damn it.
_________________________________
Well, then you find them and
you get them back in the dome.
_________________________________
And to make sure nobody else gets out,
_________________________________
I want roving death squads
around the perimeter 24/7.
_________________________________
I want 10,000 tough guys,
_________________________________
and I want 10,000 soft guys
to make the tough guys look tougher.
_________________________________
And here's how I want them arranged:
Tough, tough, soft, tough, soft,
_________________________________
soft, tough, tough, soft, soft, tough, soft.
_________________________________
Sir, I'm afraid you've
gone mad with power.
_________________________________
Of course I have. Did you ever
try going mad without power?
_________________________________
It's boring. No one listens to you.
_________________________________
Whew!
_________________________________
(SIREN WAILS)
_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________
-(GROANING PASSIONATELY)
-(SMOOCHING)
_________________________________
Oh!
_________________________________
(SUCKS PACIFIER)
_________________________________
(HELICOPTER BLADE WHIRRING)
_________________________________
-Bart, are you drinking whiskey?
-I'm troubled.
_________________________________
-Bart.
-I promise I'll stop tomorrow.
_________________________________
You'll stop right now.
_________________________________
You come back here, little man.
_________________________________
(GROANS)
_________________________________
(DRUNKENLY) I miss Flanders.
There, I said it!
_________________________________
-Where's your father?
-He went out.
_________________________________
Let's quickly rebuild
our lives while he's gone.
_________________________________
HOMER: Hey, guys?
_________________________________
What's the secret knock again?
_________________________________
Look, I know I screwed up. This is big.
_________________________________
It's huge! We're homeless!
_________________________________
Our friends wanna kill us!
_________________________________
Before we can even stay
in the same room with you,
_________________________________
I need to know
what was going through your mind
_________________________________
when you didn't listen to me
_________________________________
and dumped that silo in the lake.
_________________________________
-(CLUELESS WHIMPER)
-Homer!
_________________________________
I don't know what to tell you, Marge.
I don't think about things.
_________________________________
I respect people who do,
_________________________________
but I just try to make the days not hurt
until I get to crawl in next to you again.
_________________________________
(SWEETLY) Oh...
_________________________________
(STERNLY) I mean, oh.
_________________________________
Look, I'm really sorry.
But I'm more than just sorry.
_________________________________
I'm prepared with a solution.
_________________________________
I've always been afraid
I'd screw up our lives so badly
_________________________________
that we'd need a backup plan.
_________________________________
And that plan is right here.
(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________
No...
_________________________________
Nope.
_________________________________
Bingo.
_________________________________
Bear with me.
_________________________________
Ta... da!
_________________________________
(ANGELIC CHORUS SINGING)
_________________________________
Alaska?
_________________________________
Alaska. A place where you
can't be too fat or too drunk.
_________________________________
Where no one says things like:
_________________________________
"Let's see your high school
equivalency certificate."
_________________________________
Oh, I don't know, Homie.
_________________________________
Oh, I'm not saying it right.
_________________________________
Look, the thing is,
I can't start a new life alone.
_________________________________
And I've really come to like you guys.
_________________________________
I just don't see it.
_________________________________
Marge, in every marriage,
you get one chance to say:
_________________________________
"I need you to do this with me."
_________________________________
And there's only one answer
when somebody says that.
_________________________________
Okay, Homie. I'm with you.
_________________________________
Thank you, my sweetheart.
_________________________________
-BART: Mom?
-Yes, honey?
_________________________________
You just bought another load of crap
_________________________________
from the world's fattest
fertilizer salesman.
_________________________________
You'll pay for ruining
this golden family moment!
_________________________________
Homer!
_________________________________
How are we supposed to get
to Alaska without any money?
_________________________________
All right, son, if you don't
believe in me, believe in America.
_________________________________
America, where any man can make
quick money with no questions asked.
_________________________________
Step right up and win my truck.
_________________________________
All you have to do is conquer
the Ball of Death.
_________________________________
-What's the catch?
-No catch.
_________________________________
Just ride the motorcycle
all the way around just one time.
_________________________________
Three tries for $10.
_________________________________
Marge, how much money do we have?
_________________________________
-Ten dollars.
-Whoo-hoo!
_________________________________
That counts as a try.
_________________________________
(ENGINE REVVING)
_________________________________
HOMER: Ow! 
BARKER: That's two.
_________________________________
(ENGINE REVS)
_________________________________
HOMER: Ow!
BARKER: And that's three.
_________________________________
Tell you what I'm going to do, just
'cause I like seeing you hurt yourself:
_________________________________
I'll give you one on the house.
_________________________________
-You're the best.
-LISA: Dad!
_________________________________
When you get to the top,
don't slow down, speed up!
_________________________________
-But that's when it's the scariest!
-Just do it!
_________________________________
Ooh! Oh!
_________________________________
Whoo-hoo!
_________________________________
(CROWD CHEERING
AND WHISTLING)
_________________________________
BART: Yes!
_________________________________
LISA: Yay, Dad!
_________________________________
I'll take that truck now.
_________________________________
Oh, man. My wives are gonna kill me.
_________________________________
HOMER: Next stop, Alaska!
_________________________________
Day 37 under the dome.
_________________________________
We are facing intermittent
power failures which...
_________________________________
Okay, very funny. Now, I'm
going to turn the lights off again.
_________________________________
When they come back on, I want all
my booze back the way it was.
_________________________________
Yeah, okay. Okay.
_________________________________
I'm very proud of you, Bart.
Over 24 hours sober.
_________________________________
-You are, aren't you?
-I'll prove it.
_________________________________
(MOANING WITH PLEASURE)
_________________________________
Look, we're giving
your father another chance,
_________________________________
and we owe it to him to... (GASPS)
_________________________________
-Oh, my God.
-Can I help you?
_________________________________
Uh.. Uh, we need diapers.
_________________________________
-Okay.
-No, no, we don't. We don't.
_________________________________
-Ladies' razorblades.
-Right.
_________________________________
No, no, no, we don't.
I forgot, we're European.
_________________________________
(MARGE GIGGLING)
_________________________________
-Uh-huh.
-Just give us beef jerky.
_________________________________
Lots and lots of beef jerky.
_________________________________
That's right. That's what we need.
That's all we came in for.
_________________________________
Sure.
_________________________________
Mmm-hmm.
_________________________________
Oh, my God, there they...
There they are!
_________________________________
(SUCKS PACIFIER)
_________________________________
(BART LAUGHING)
_________________________________
(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)
_________________________________
(ZAPPING AND CRACKLING)
_________________________________
So you want some
of my electricity, do you?
_________________________________
(SNICKERING)
_________________________________
Well, for once,
the rich white man is in control.
_________________________________
I have two buttons behind this desk.
_________________________________
One will supply your town with power,
the other releases the hounds.
_________________________________
Reach me, make me your brother.
_________________________________
The hospital's generator
is about to give out.
_________________________________
Lives will be lost!
_________________________________
Lives... lost. Go on.
_________________________________
We got a convict we were going to
fry tomorrow, but now we can't.
_________________________________
Tempting... Tempting.
_________________________________
Look, all our reasons mean nothing.
_________________________________
Just look into your heart
and you'll find the answer.
_________________________________
(APU SCREAMING)
_________________________________
BURNS: First door on the right.
APU: Thank you.
_________________________________
-(ALL SCREAMING)
-(HOUNDS BARKING)
_________________________________
What? This isn't the way
I pictured Alaska at all!
_________________________________
Oh, that's better.
_________________________________
Homer!
_________________________________
-(TIRES SCREECHING)
-(ALL SCREAMING)
_________________________________
Well, at least my poster didn't get torn.
_________________________________
(FINGERS SQUEAK
AGAINST GLASS)
_________________________________
(GASPING)
_________________________________
(GRAND ORCHESTRAL
THEME SWELLS)
_________________________________
Welcome to Alaska.
Here's a thousand dollars.
_________________________________
Well, it's about time, but why?
_________________________________
We pay every resident
a thousand dollars
_________________________________
to allow oil companies to
ravage our state's natural beauty.
_________________________________
I'm home.
_________________________________
Oh, thanks.
_________________________________
(LUSH ORCHESTRAL
THEME PLAYING)
_________________________________
What are you doing, Bart?
_________________________________
Eh, just passing the time.
_________________________________
(CLAP ECHOING)
_________________________________
(CLAP ECHOING)
_________________________________
(CLAPPING)
_________________________________
Aw. My boy loves Alaska
so much, he's applauding it.
_________________________________
-Lisa, why aren't you clapping?
-But, Dad...
_________________________________
Clap for Alaska.
_________________________________
(CLAPPING)
_________________________________
(DEEP RUMBLING)
_________________________________
Huh?
_________________________________
(HOMER SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(SNOW CRUNCHING)
_________________________________
Well, Marge, we're separated
from the kids by a wall of snow.
_________________________________
All my dreams are coming true.
_________________________________
(DISNEY-STYLE
ORCHESTRATION PLAYS)
_________________________________
(BIRDS SINGING)
_________________________________
(CHORUS VOCALIZING MELODY)
_________________________________
(FABRIC TEARING)
_________________________________
(BIRDS TWEETING)
_________________________________
(WHISTLES)
_________________________________
(SCREECHES)
_________________________________
(FABRIC TEARING)
_________________________________
(ORCHESTRATION CONTINUES)
_________________________________
Day 93 under the dome.
_________________________________
With necessities
growing dangerously low,
_________________________________
who knows what spark
will set off this powder keg.
_________________________________
Okay, let's discuss
Tuesdays with Morrie.
_________________________________
Again?
_________________________________
If we don't get a new book,
I'm going to puke.
_________________________________
You're the five people
I'm going to meet in hell!
_________________________________
-(GRUNTING)
-(GLASS BREAKING)
_________________________________
We're out of coffee!
_________________________________
(SCREAMING)
_________________________________
BARNEY: I can't take another
minute in this dome!
_________________________________
(YELLING)
_________________________________
(SHOUTING AND GRUNTING)
_________________________________
Y'ar! Y'ar!
_________________________________
Take that!
_________________________________
Oh, no! Blowback.
_________________________________
(SHOUTING)
_________________________________
(WHIRRING)
_________________________________
Look what they're doing to our dome.
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
(TRUMPETING)
_________________________________
(CRACKING)
_________________________________
You know what that is, sir?
_________________________________
-A crack?
-Exactly.
_________________________________
First, let me state the problem.
_________________________________
People got out of the dome before,
they're going to get out again.
_________________________________
And when they do, there's going
to be hearings, investigations.
_________________________________
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
_________________________________
I'll have to go back to
making family comedies.
_________________________________
(SIGHS)
_________________________________
Don't worry,
I have a solution for you, sir.
_________________________________
In fact, I have five solutions.
_________________________________
You don't have to read them.
You'll have deniability.
_________________________________
I'll take care of it. You know nothing.
_________________________________
No. I need to know what I'm approving.
_________________________________
Absolutely. But on the other hand,
knowing things is overrated.
_________________________________
Anyone can pick something
when they know what it is.
_________________________________
It takes real leadership to pick
something you're clueless about.
_________________________________
Okay, I pick three.
_________________________________
-Try again.
-One.
_________________________________
-Go higher.
-Five?
_________________________________
-Too high.
-Three?
_________________________________
-You already said three.
-Six?
_________________________________
-There is no six.
-Two?
_________________________________
-Double it.
-Four!
_________________________________
As you wish, sir.
_________________________________
(HAPPY MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)
_________________________________
HANKS: Are you tired
of the same old Grand Canyon?
_________________________________
Here we are, kids, the Grand Canyon.
_________________________________
It's so old and boring.
I want a new one. Now!
_________________________________
Hello. I'm Tom Hanks.
_________________________________
The U.S. government
has lost its credibility...
_________________________________
so it's borrowing some of mine.
_________________________________
-Tousle my hair, Mr. Hanks.
-Sure thing, son.
_________________________________
(HANKS LAUGHS)
_________________________________
Now, I'm pleased to tell you all
about the New Grand Canyon.
_________________________________
Coming this weekend. It's east of
Shelbyville and south of Capitol City.
_________________________________
That's where Springfield is!
_________________________________
It's nowhere near where
anything is or ever was.
_________________________________
This is Tom Hanks saying
_________________________________
if you're going to pick a government
to trust, why not this one?
_________________________________
Did you see that?
_________________________________
Yes, they're going to destroy Springfield.
_________________________________
But we're going to stop them.
_________________________________
Homie, get your clothes on. Homie?
_________________________________
I'm happy here. Screw Springfield.
_________________________________
(GASPING)
_________________________________
I can't believe you'd
say something so selfish.
_________________________________
Marge, those people chased us
with pitchforks and torches.
_________________________________
Torches! At 4:00 in the afternoon!
_________________________________
-It was 7:00 at night.
-It was during Access Hollywood.
_________________________________
-Which is on at 4:00 and 7:00.
-D'oh!
_________________________________
Dad, how can you turn your back
on everyone who loved us?
_________________________________
Flanders helped
when we were in trouble.
_________________________________
Who cares what Flanders did?
He's not your father.
_________________________________
I wish he was.
_________________________________
You don't mean that. You worship me.
_________________________________
Oh, yeah?
Look what I did to your picture.
_________________________________
-(GASPING)
-Look at it!
_________________________________
Howdilly-doodilly. Howdilly-doodilly.
_________________________________
-Howdilly-doodilly.
-HOMER: Why, you little...
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
-I'll strangle-angle you.
-BART: Diddily, diddily.
_________________________________
Bart, stop it! Leave this to me.
_________________________________
Homer...
_________________________________
in every marriage you
get one chance to say
_________________________________
I need you to do this with me.
_________________________________
That is the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.
_________________________________
Homer Simpson!
_________________________________
We're saving Springfield!
_________________________________
Listen to me, all of you. We are staying.
_________________________________
We have a great life in Alaska,
_________________________________
and we're never going back
to America again.
_________________________________
I have spoken! Hmm!
_________________________________
(WIND WHISTLING)
_________________________________
(TIRES SCREECHING)
_________________________________
(VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYING)
_________________________________
(HOMER CHUCKLING)
_________________________________
Well, I guess I've let her
worry about me long enough.
_________________________________
-(WHISTLING)
-(TRUCK HORN BLOWS)
_________________________________
Marge? Kids?
_________________________________
Huh?
_________________________________
(STATIC HISSING)
_________________________________
MARGE: Okay, here goes.
_________________________________
Homer...
_________________________________
I've always stood up for you.
_________________________________
When people point out your flaws,
_________________________________
I always say,
_________________________________
"Well, sometimes you have to
stand back to appreciate a work of art."
_________________________________
(LAUGHING)
_________________________________
Way back.
_________________________________
Lately, what's keeping us together
_________________________________
is my ability to overlook
everything you do.
_________________________________
And I overlook these things because...
_________________________________
Because?
_________________________________
Well, that's the thing.
_________________________________
I just don't know how to finish
that sentence anymore.
_________________________________
So I'm leaving with the kids
to help Springfield,
_________________________________
and we're never coming back.
_________________________________
And to prove to myself
that this is the end...
_________________________________
I taped this over our wedding video.
_________________________________
Good-bye, Homie.
_________________________________
(STATIC HISSES)
_________________________________
(WOMAN SINGING
ROMANTIC BALLAD)
_________________________________
I love you.
_________________________________
(SINGING CONTINUES)
_________________________________
-(SINGING CONTINUES)
-Marge? Kids?
_________________________________
(CRACKING)
_________________________________
(SINGING CONTINUES)
_________________________________
(SINGING FADES)
_________________________________
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
_________________________________
(ROARING)
_________________________________
(SHOUTING GIBBERISH)
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
(YELPS)
_________________________________
Huh?
_________________________________
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS)
_________________________________
(SNIFFLING)
_________________________________
-So, Mom, what's our plan?
-What are you doing up there?
_________________________________
Looking through people's luggage.
_________________________________
(HIGH-PITCHED) I'm the
mascot of an evil corporation.
_________________________________
(LAUGHS)
_________________________________
Get down from there.
We have to keep a low profile
_________________________________
till we get to Seattle to tell the world
of the plot to destroy Springfield.
_________________________________
(WHISPERING) I don't know
if you guys should be talking so loud.
_________________________________
Oh, Lisa, it's not like the government
is listening to everybody's conversation.
_________________________________
(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)
_________________________________
(BEEPING)
_________________________________
(CONVERSATIONS OVERLAPPING)
_________________________________
WOMAN: Hi. I'm calling
about our Meat Lover's Pizza.
_________________________________
I like meat, but I don't know
if I'm ready to love again.
_________________________________
WOMAN 2: You hang up first.
MAN: No, you hang up first.
_________________________________
WOMAN 2: Okay.
_________________________________
(DIAL TONE HUMS)
_________________________________
MAN: She hung up on me!
_________________________________
LISA: But we're fugitives. We should
just lay low till we get to Seattle.
_________________________________
Hey, everybody! I found one!
_________________________________
The government actually found
someone we're looking for!
_________________________________
Yeah, baby! Yeah!
_________________________________
MEDICINE WOMAN: Homer Simpson,
_________________________________
do you know why you are here?
_________________________________
'Cause my family cares more about
other people than they do about me.
_________________________________
Drink this liquid.
_________________________________
(SCREAMING)
_________________________________
More, please.
_________________________________
Now we will cleanse your spirit
_________________________________
by the ancient Inuit art of throat singing.
_________________________________
Throat singing?
_________________________________
(GUTTURAL CHANTING)
_________________________________
(BOTH CHANTING)
_________________________________
How long are we doing this?
_________________________________
-Until you have an epiphany.
-Okay.
_________________________________
(CHANTING)
_________________________________
What's an epiphany?
_________________________________
Sudden realization of great truth.
_________________________________
Okay.
_________________________________
(CHANTING)
_________________________________
(MUSIC PLAYS)
_________________________________
CHORUS: ♪ Spider Pig, Spider Pig
_________________________________
♪ Does whatever a Spider Pig does
_________________________________
-(RUMBLING)
-♪ Look out!
_________________________________
♪ He's a Spider Pig ♪
_________________________________
Unless you have an epiphany,
_________________________________
you will spend the remainder
of your days alone.
_________________________________
(BELL TOLLS)
_________________________________
Epiphany, epiphany, epiphany. Ooh!
_________________________________
Bananas are an excellent source
of potassium.
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
Americans will never embrace soccer?
_________________________________
More than two shakes
and it's playing with yourself?
_________________________________
Hey, what are you doing?
_________________________________
Oh, do whatever you want to me.
I don't care about myself anymore.
_________________________________
MEDICINE WOMAN: Because?
_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________
Because other people
are just as important as me.
_________________________________
Without them, I'm nothing.
_________________________________
In order to save myself...
_________________________________
I have to save Springfield!
_________________________________
That's it! Isn't it?
_________________________________
-(THE SIMPSONS THEME PLAYING)
-(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
_________________________________
(CHEERING CONTINUES)
_________________________________
(CHANTING)
_________________________________
That was the most
incredible experience of my life.
_________________________________
And now to find my family,
save my town and drop ten pounds.
_________________________________
Thank you, boob lady.
_________________________________
This is it, kids. Seattle.
_________________________________
(GASPING) Russ Cargill!
Do you think he saw us?
_________________________________
Yes, I did.
_________________________________
(DOGS BARKING)
_________________________________
Run! Run! Run! Run!
_________________________________
Run! Run!
_________________________________
Jump! Jump!
_________________________________
Land! Land!
_________________________________
Rest! Rest!
_________________________________
Run! Run!
_________________________________
Now, I know we've had a rough day,
_________________________________
but I'm sure we can put
all that behind us and just...
_________________________________
(GROWLING, SCREAMING)
_________________________________
Ow! Ow! That's my whipping arm!
_________________________________
(BARKING)
_________________________________
Why does everything I whip leave me?
_________________________________
-(WIND WHISTLING)
-Must keep going.
_________________________________
Must keep going.
_________________________________
(WHIMPERING)
No, I can't. I can't keep going.
_________________________________
Yes, you can.
_________________________________
No, I can't.
_________________________________
Oh, shut up.
_________________________________
You shut up.
_________________________________
No, you. No, you.
_________________________________
No, you. Oh, real mature.
_________________________________
How could you say that?
_________________________________
Oh, what's the point?
_________________________________
It's hopeless.
_________________________________
Don't give up, Homer.
You are closer than you think.
_________________________________
But which way do I go?
_________________________________
Much obliged.
_________________________________
(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)
_________________________________
(MEN SHOUTING IN DISTANCE)
_________________________________
Ten-hut!
_________________________________
(SAXOPHONE PLAYING)
_________________________________
Lisa, knock off that racket!
_________________________________
(GASPS) Lisa!
_________________________________
(PLAYING BLUESY TUNE)
_________________________________
They captured my family.
What do I do? What do I do?
_________________________________
(TIRES SCREECHING)
_________________________________
There's something strange
about that "sop" sign.
_________________________________
(ENGINE ROARING)
_________________________________
(SOFTLY CLINKS)
_________________________________
-(GASPS) Did you hear something?
-Probably just a moth.
_________________________________
I hope it's okay.
_________________________________
HOMER: (SCREAMING) Oh!
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
Oh!
_________________________________
D'oh!
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
(GROANS)
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
Look, look, look, look, look.
_________________________________
We can't keep stopping at every
"sop," "yeld", or "one vay" sign.
_________________________________
Just move on.
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
Let us out! Let us out!
_________________________________
Stop that. You'll scratch your shackles.
_________________________________
I hope I do.
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
(HISSING)
_________________________________
LISA: Oh, way to go, Bart.
_________________________________
You stink.
_________________________________
No, you stink.
_________________________________
(MOANING)
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
LISA: Ow. (GROANS)
_________________________________
(BIRD CAWS)
_________________________________
(DOG HOWLS IN DISTANCE)
_________________________________
MARGE: (GASPS) Springfield.
_________________________________
I can't believe it,
but it got even crappier.
_________________________________
Oh, man.
_________________________________
(MUTTERING)
_________________________________
(CLANKING)
_________________________________
Oh, hiya, Midge.
_________________________________
Moe, what happened?
_________________________________
With the town sealed off
from the rest of the world,
_________________________________
things got a little nutty here.
_________________________________
Why are you dressed like that?
_________________________________
Well, I don't like to brag, but
I am now the emperor of Springfield.
_________________________________
BARNEY: No, you're not!
_________________________________
Yes, I am!
_________________________________
(EXPLOSION)
_________________________________
BARNEY: Okay. Hail, emperor.
_________________________________
CARGILL: Attention, Springfield.
_________________________________
Your government realized
that putting you inside this dome
_________________________________
was a terrible mistake.
_________________________________
Therefore, we're commencing
with Operation Soaring Eagle.
_________________________________
-(CHEERING)
-Which involves killing you all.
_________________________________
(GROANING)
_________________________________
(WHIRRING)
_________________________________
As I speak, we're lowering a small
but powerful bomb into your midst.
_________________________________
(BEEPING)
_________________________________
(SCREAMING)
_________________________________
Despite everything, I miss your father.
_________________________________
Me too.
_________________________________
His big fat ass could shield us all.
_________________________________
HOMER: Ten-hut!
_________________________________
At ease. I'm General Marriott Suites,
_________________________________
and I have an urgent
note from the president.
_________________________________
It says to release
this town immediately.
_________________________________
Why is it written on a leaf?
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________
(HANDS SQUEAKING)
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________
Perfect.
_________________________________
Now Homer Simpson's going
to show he has cojones! Oops.
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
(YELLS)
_________________________________
(GRUNTING AND CRYING GASPS)
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
(GASPING) D'oh!
_________________________________
(WHIMPERING) D'oh!
_________________________________
D'oh! D'oh!
_________________________________
Mom, I've gotta go find Colin.
_________________________________
Not now, sweetie.
Doomsday is family time.
_________________________________
-(GLASS SQUEAKING)
-HOMER: Oh! Oh!
_________________________________
-(BEEPING)
-(HARMONCIA PLAYING BLUES)
_________________________________
Hey. If one of us distracts Cargill,
the rest of us can climb up that thing.
_________________________________
Who'd be dumb enough to stay behind
while we escape with our lives?
_________________________________
(CLEARS THROAT) My time to shine.
_________________________________
Hey! Mr. Big TV Man, look-a here.
_________________________________
What do you want?
_________________________________
Um... Look what
I can do with my thumb.
_________________________________
You wanna know how I do it?
_________________________________
Four generations of inbreeding?
_________________________________
Oh...
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
(SHOES SQUEAKING)
_________________________________
I can smell fresh air.
_________________________________
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
_________________________________
I can hear birds.
_________________________________
I taste freedom.
_________________________________
HOMER: Excuse me! Watch out!
Coming through!
_________________________________
(HOMER YELLING)
_________________________________
(LOUD THUD)
_________________________________
(BEEPING)
_________________________________
(GROANS QUIETY)
_________________________________
I was tricked by an idiot!
_________________________________
Hey, I know how you feel. I was
beat in tic-tac-toe by a chicken.
_________________________________
Goodbye.
_________________________________
(STAMMERS)
_________________________________
Homer do good?
_________________________________
Actually, you doomed us all. Again.
Nice knowing you, Homer.
_________________________________
HOMER: But I...
_________________________________
(CRYING) Oh...
_________________________________
I can't do anything right. (GRUNTS)
_________________________________
-(RAPID BEEPS)
-(STEADY BEEPING RESUMES)
_________________________________
Get out of here!
_________________________________
-(PEOPLE JEERING)
-(HOMER WHIMPERING)
_________________________________
I've spent my entire life doing
nothing but collecting comic books,
_________________________________
and now there's only time to say...
_________________________________
Life well spent!
_________________________________
Okay, boys, when you meet Jesus,
be sure to call him Mr. Christ.
_________________________________
Will Buddha be there too?
_________________________________
-No.
-(DOOR CREAKS)
_________________________________
-Hey, Flanders.
-Bart.
_________________________________
How good to see ya.
And how terrible you're here.
_________________________________
Thanks.
_________________________________
Listen. I was just wondering if...
_________________________________
before I died,
_________________________________
I could pretend I had a father who...
_________________________________
cared for me.
_________________________________
Come here, son.
_________________________________
There's always room
for one more in the Flanders clan.
_________________________________
(QUIET HISSING)
_________________________________
(BEEP)
_________________________________
Come on, bomb-disarming robot.
You're our last hope.
_________________________________
ROBOT: Red wire. Blue wire.
Black is usually the ground.
_________________________________
-(GROANS) Uh, so much pressure.
-(METAL RATTLING)
_________________________________
Pressure!
_________________________________
(GUNSHOT)
_________________________________
He'd been talking about it,
but I didn't take him seriously.
_________________________________
Marge.
_________________________________
Marge! Marge!
_________________________________
-(SMACK)
-(THUD)
_________________________________
Oh, no, the epipha-tree!
_________________________________
Hey, I tried my best.
What am I supposed to do?
_________________________________
(WIND RUSHES)
_________________________________
But how am I supposed to get up there?
_________________________________
(HEAVENLY MUSIC PLAYS)
_________________________________
Oh...
_________________________________
Here, buy yourself something nice.
_________________________________
Homer? What the hell
are you doing now?
_________________________________
HOMER: Risking my life
to save people I hate
_________________________________
for reasons I don't
quite understand. Got to go!
_________________________________
First, one stop.
_________________________________
(BEEP)
_________________________________
(TIRES SQUEALING)
_________________________________
Bart? Son?
_________________________________
You think you could find it in your heart
_________________________________
to give your foolish old man
one more chance?
_________________________________
(MUMBLING) Oh, I don't know...
_________________________________
It seems to me, son,
that your father's saying that
_________________________________
he wants to spend
his last minute with you.
_________________________________
No! I can't do it.
_________________________________
I want a father who's the same
in the morning as he is at night. Oh...
_________________________________
What's that word?
_________________________________
BOTH: Consistency.
_________________________________
Thanks, losers.
_________________________________
Sorry, Homer.
_________________________________
I'll let you hold the bomb.
_________________________________
-(BEEPING)
-The man knows me.
_________________________________
(BART LAUGHING)
_________________________________
I wish Homer was my father.
_________________________________
And I wish you didn't have
the devil's curly hair.
_________________________________
(CRYING)
_________________________________
I've been taking your crap all my life!
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
Whew! This feels good.
No wonder you do it.
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
(ENGINE ROARING)
_________________________________
Okay, Bart, you've only got one shot
to throw that bomb through the hole.
_________________________________
Dad, in case I miss,
_________________________________
I'm sorry I said
I wish you weren't my father.
_________________________________
I don't blame you, son.
I wasn't much of a father.
_________________________________
Maybe it starts with the way
my dad raised me.
_________________________________
Yes. It's clear to me. It's just been
one long, unbroken cycle of...
_________________________________
Somebody throw the goddamn bomb!
_________________________________
(ENGINE REVS)
_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________
(HOMER SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
_________________________________
HOMER: D'oh!
_________________________________
(WATER BURBLING)
_________________________________
What? What's going on?
_________________________________
(WILD CHEERING)
_________________________________
(THUMPING)
_________________________________
(ANXIOUS STAMMERING)
_________________________________
(RELIEVED SIGHS)
_________________________________
(LOUD EXPLOSION)
_________________________________
(HIGH-PITCHED WHOOSH)
_________________________________
HOMER: We did it, boy!
_________________________________
Uh, Dad?
_________________________________
-(CRACKING)
-(HOMER YELPS)
_________________________________
(CRACKING CONTINUES)
_________________________________
(BOTH YELLING)
_________________________________
(YELLS)
_________________________________
(BOTH SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
_________________________________
(DISTANT SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(SCREAMING LOUDLY)
_________________________________
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
_________________________________
(HOMER CONTINUES SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(YELPS)
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
BOTH: Whoo-hoo!
_________________________________
-(EXPLOSION)
-(SHATTERING)
_________________________________
(EXCITED CHATTER)
_________________________________
Magnificent!
_________________________________
It's amazing no one was hurt!
_________________________________
(LOUD THUD)
_________________________________
Bye, everybody.
_________________________________
(DYING GROAN)
_________________________________
(WIND WHISTLING)
_________________________________
Now, that was a
great father-son activity.
_________________________________
CARGILL: Hello, Homer.
_________________________________
So we meet at last, whoever you are.
_________________________________
There's a couple of things they don't
teach you at Harvard Business School.
_________________________________
One is how to cope with defeat,
and how to handle a shotgun.
_________________________________
I'm going to do both right now.
_________________________________
Wait! If you kill my dad,
_________________________________
you'll never know
where the treasure is buried.
_________________________________
What treasure?
_________________________________
The Treasure of Ima Wiener.
_________________________________
I'm a wiener?
_________________________________
(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________
-Classic.
-Well, always leave them laughing.
_________________________________
(CHUCKLES) Goodbye, sir.
_________________________________
(THUMP)
_________________________________
Maggie! What a great little
accident you turned out to be.
_________________________________
(SUCKING)
_________________________________
Colin? Colin!
_________________________________
Lisa? Colin's dead.
_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________
But his last words were,
_________________________________
(IRISH ACCENT) "Milhouse,
take care of Lisa. Hold her hand."
_________________________________
Uh... I got her all warmed up for you.
_________________________________
Colin! Whoo! Hi.
_________________________________
-Hey, you wanna go...
-Clean up the lake!
_________________________________
Well, I was gonna say
"get some ice cream," but okay.
_________________________________
(LAUGHS) Oh, I like ice cream.
_________________________________
Kind of sweaty. Sorry.
_________________________________
(LOUD CHEERING)
_________________________________
(GASPS) Boy, you survived! How?
_________________________________
(BARKING)
_________________________________
I love you, too.
_________________________________
(CHEERING AND WHISTLING)
_________________________________
Best kiss of my life.
_________________________________
Best kiss of your life so far.
_________________________________
(ELECTRIC SAW WHIRRING)
_________________________________
HOMER: Steady.
_________________________________
Steady.
_________________________________
Steady.
_________________________________
Uh, Dad?
_________________________________
Thanks, boy.
_________________________________
Steady.
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
Whoo-hoo!
_________________________________
-Waah!
-(BART LAUGHING)
_________________________________
(LOUD THUD)
_________________________________
(ROCK VERSION OF THE 
SIMPSONS THEME PLAYING)
_________________________________
SMITHERS:
They've taken everything, sir.
_________________________________
Smithers, I don't believe in suicide,
_________________________________
but if you'd like to try it,
it might cheer me up to watch.
_________________________________
(ROCK BAND
SHOUTING RHYTHMICALLY)
_________________________________
(ROCK BAND VOCALIZING)
_________________________________
(SONG ENDS)
_________________________________
This is Tom Hanks saying,
_________________________________
If you see me in person,
please, leave me be.
_________________________________
(CHORUS SINGING)
_________________________________
♪ Spider Pig, Spider Pig
_________________________________
♪ Does whatever a Spider Pig does
_________________________________
♪ Can he swing from a web?
_________________________________
♪ No, he can't, he's a pig
_________________________________
♪ Look out!
_________________________________
♪ He is a Spider Pig
_________________________________
♪ Look out!
_________________________________
♪ He is a Spider Pig
_________________________________
(SONG FADES OUT)
_________________________________
Come on, Dad, let's go.
_________________________________
I've been holding it since
they put the dome over the town.
_________________________________
You can wait. A lot of people
worked really hard on this film,
_________________________________
and all they ask is for you
to memorize their names.
_________________________________
Well, I want to make sure
no animals were harmed
_________________________________
during the filming of this movie.
_________________________________
LISA: Phew!
HOMER: Okay.
_________________________________
-(CRUNCH)
-Ooh, floor popcorn!
_________________________________
-(CHOMPING)
-CRUNCHING)
_________________________________
Wait, wait, wait! It looks like
Maggie has something to say.
_________________________________
Oh, my God, her first word!
_________________________________
Sequel?
_________________________________
MAN: (TO "LA MARSEILLAISE")
♪ Springfield doesn't have an anthem
_________________________________
(OTHERS JOIN IN) ♪ We thought
we had one, but we don't
_________________________________
(MORE JOIN IN)
♪ We paid a short guy to write it
_________________________________
♪ But we never saw him again
_________________________________
♪ The tune we stole from the French
_________________________________
♪ There's a few things they do well
_________________________________
♪ Like making love, wine and cheese
_________________________________
♪ Like Roqueforts,
Camemberts and Bries
_________________________________
♪ Springfield
_________________________________
♪ We're going to die
_________________________________
♪ Springfield
_________________________________
♪ I'm scared to die ♪
_________________________________
Assistant manager
isn't all it's cracked up to be.
_________________________________
Four years of film school for this?
_________________________________

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