The Simpsons Movie - Subtitles (en)

_________________________________
(DRUMROLL)
_________________________________

(ROUSING ORCHESTRAL

FANFARE PLAYING)
_________________________________

(RALPH SCREECHILY

SINGING WITH FANFARE)
_________________________________

(FANFARE ENDS)
_________________________________

(LOW, PULSATING RUMBLE)
_________________________________

(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
_________________________________

(TRIUMPHANT THEME PLAYING)
_________________________________

(ORCHESTRA CRESCENDOES)
_________________________________

(PERCUSSION BOOMING)
_________________________________

We come in peace

for cats and mice everywhere.
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(GLASS BREAKS, AIR HISSING)
_________________________________

(POPPING)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(ORCHESTRAL FANFARE PLAYING)
_________________________________

(CROWD CHEERING)
_________________________________

Hey, how you doing? Good to see you.

Thanks for coming out.
_________________________________

(PRESIDENTIAL SONG PLAYING)
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SCRATCHY: Itchy... Itchy...
_________________________________

(AIR HORN BLASTS)
_________________________________

(QUIET, OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS)
_________________________________

(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC

GROWS LOUDER)
_________________________________

(SNAPS FINGERS)
_________________________________

(CLICK)
_________________________________

(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)
_________________________________

(MUSIC CRESCENDOES)
_________________________________

(LOUD BUZZING)
_________________________________

(MISSILES RUMBLING)
_________________________________

(MISSILES WHIZZING

THROUGH AIR)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(MISSILE WHIZZING)
_________________________________

(MECHANICAL RATCHETING)
_________________________________

(METALLIC CLUNK)
_________________________________

(LOUD EXPLOSION)
_________________________________

Boring!
_________________________________

LISA: Dad, we can't see the movie!
_________________________________

I can't believe we're paying to see

something we get on TV for free.
_________________________________

If you ask me, everybody

in this theater is a giant sucker,
_________________________________

especially you!
_________________________________

(CHORUS SINGING)
_________________________________

♪ Movie on the big screen!
_________________________________

(THEME PLAYING)
_________________________________

(CREAKING, THUD)
_________________________________

(PEN SQUEAKS)
_________________________________

(MARTIN HOWLING)
_________________________________

(ROCK BAND JOINS IN

ON THE SIMPSONS THEME)
_________________________________

(CROWD CHEERING)
_________________________________

(STRAINED GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Excuse me, my heinie is dipping.
_________________________________

-(OTHERS GROAN IN DISGUST)

-(LOUD THUD, GRUNT)
_________________________________

♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
_________________________________

♪ Hey! Hey!
_________________________________

♪ Hey! Hey!
_________________________________

(TO THE SIMPSONS THEME)

♪ Da, da, da, da-da, da, da
_________________________________

♪ Da, da-da-da-da
_________________________________

CROWD: ♪ Da-da-da-da-da

♪ Da-da-da-da! ♪
_________________________________

(SONG ENDS, CHEERING)
_________________________________

All right, well,

thanks a lot for coming.
_________________________________

We've been playing

for three and a half hours.
_________________________________

Now we'd like just a minute of your time
_________________________________

to say something

about the environment!
_________________________________

-(CROWD QUIETS)

-(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
_________________________________

(LOUD BOOING)
_________________________________

MAN 1: You suck!

MAN 2: Shut up and play!
_________________________________

-Preachy!

-We're not being preachy.
_________________________________

But the pollution in your lake,

it's dissolving our barge!
_________________________________

(CROWD BOOING)
_________________________________

I thought they touched on a vital issue.
_________________________________

I beg to differ.
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(SCREECHY GASP)
_________________________________

Gentlemen, it's been an honor

playing with you tonight.
_________________________________

(PLAYING

"NEARER MY GOD TO THEE")
_________________________________

(ORGAN PLAYING)
_________________________________

For the latest rock band

to die in our town,
_________________________________

Lord, hear our prayer.
_________________________________

CONGREGATION:

Lord, hear our prayer.
_________________________________

(CAR SCREECHES TO A HALT)
_________________________________

MARGE: I hate being late.

HOMER: Well, I hate going.
_________________________________

Why can't I worship the Lord

in my own way...
_________________________________

by praying like hell on my deathbed?
_________________________________

MARGE: Homer,

they can hear you inside.
_________________________________

HOMER: Relax. Those pious

morons are too busy
_________________________________

talking to their phony-baloney God.
_________________________________

(QUIETLY) How you doing?

Peace be with you. Praise Jebus.
_________________________________

(GRAMPA SNORING)
_________________________________

(ORGAN PLAYING QUIETLY)
_________________________________

(VIDEO GAME BEEPING)
_________________________________

-(VIDEO GAME GUNFIRE)

-(BABIES SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(VIDEO GAME SOUNDS STOP)
_________________________________

Now, today I'd like to try

something a little different.
_________________________________

I'm going to call on one of you!
_________________________________

(MAN YELPS)
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Now, the word

of God dwells within everyone.
_________________________________

I want you to let that word out.
_________________________________

-Let your spirit...

-NED: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
_________________________________

(FRUSTRATED SIGH) What is it, Ned?
_________________________________

The good Lord is telling me

to confess to something.
_________________________________

(QUIETLY)

Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay.
_________________________________

An immodest sense of pride

in our community!
_________________________________

Somebody else?
_________________________________

Let the Lord's light shine upon you.
_________________________________

-(HEAVENLY CHOIR SINGING)

-(SNORING)
_________________________________

Feel the spirit.
_________________________________

Let it out!
_________________________________

Horrible, horrible things

are going to happen!
_________________________________

And they're gonna happen to you

and you and you!
_________________________________

-And you!

-(GASPS)
_________________________________

Whoa, Nelly.
_________________________________

(GOOFY GASPING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(BEEP)
_________________________________

People of Springfield,

heed this warning!
_________________________________

Twisted tail!
_________________________________

A thousand eyes!
_________________________________

Trapped forever!
_________________________________

(GRUNTING LIKE THREE STOOGES)
_________________________________

Dad, do something!
_________________________________

This book doesn't have any answers!
_________________________________

Beware, beware! Time is short!
_________________________________

EPA! EPA! EPA!
_________________________________

(LOUD THUD)
_________________________________

Believe me! Believe me!
_________________________________

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
_________________________________

(CONTINUES SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
_________________________________

Thanks for listening.
_________________________________

Okay, who wants waffles?
_________________________________

ALL: I do! I do! I do!
_________________________________

Wait a minute. What about Grandpa?
_________________________________

-I want syrup.

-I want strawberries!
_________________________________

Something happened to that man.
_________________________________

I'll tell you what happened to him. A

certain someone had a senior moment.
_________________________________

But that's okay, because we love him

and we got a free rug out of it.
_________________________________

What is the point of

going to church every Sunday
_________________________________

when if someone we love has a

genuine religious experience,
_________________________________

we ignore it? Right, Grandpa?
_________________________________

I want bananas on my waffles!
_________________________________

I rest my case.
_________________________________

I'm not dropping this.
_________________________________

Wait a minute! I'm still in the car.
_________________________________

Oh, right.
_________________________________

Hmm...
_________________________________

"Take out hornets' nest."
_________________________________

(HORNETS BUZZING)
_________________________________

(FRENZIED BUZZING)
_________________________________

Check. "Fix sinkhole."
_________________________________

(QUIET SUCKING)
_________________________________

(SUCKING CONTINUES)
_________________________________

-(PLOP)

-(SUCKING STOPS)
_________________________________

Check.
_________________________________

"Reshingle roof"?
_________________________________

(BIRDS CHIRPING)
_________________________________

Steady...
_________________________________

Steady...
_________________________________

-(LOUD SQUISH)

-HOMER: Ow-how-how!
_________________________________

-Ow-how-how!

-(BART LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(YELLS) Why, you little...
_________________________________

I'll teach you to laugh

at something that's funny!
_________________________________

(EXHALES) You know, we are on

the roof. We could have some fun.
_________________________________

What kind of fun?
_________________________________

How about a dare contest?
_________________________________

That sounds fun. I dare you to...
_________________________________

climb the TV antenna.
_________________________________

Piece of cake.
_________________________________

-Earthquake!

-(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING AND GASPS)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Aftershock!
_________________________________

-(PLAYFUL GRUNTING)

-(BART LAUGHING)
_________________________________

NED: Homer, I don't mean to be

a nervous Pervis or anything,
_________________________________

but if he falls, couldn't that

make your boy a parapleg-erino?
_________________________________

Shut up, Flanders.
_________________________________

-Yeah, shut up, Flanders.

-Well said, boy.
_________________________________

BOTH: Yeah!
_________________________________

Steady... Steady...
_________________________________

Steady...
_________________________________

HOMER: Ah!
_________________________________

-(THUDS)

-(BART LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(KNOCKING)
_________________________________

LISA: Hello. Sorry to bother you
on a Sunday,

_________________________________

but I'm sure you're as worried about

the pollution
_________________________________
-in Lake Springfield as I am.

-(DOOR SLAMS)
_________________________________

(KNOCKING)
_________________________________

LISA: Lake Springfield has

higher levels of mercury than even...
_________________________________

(DOOR SLAMS)
_________________________________

SWEET OLD LADY: Why, it's
the little girl who saved my cat.

_________________________________

LISA: Lake Springfield is...
_________________________________

-(DOOR SLAMS)

-(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(DOORS SLAMMING)
_________________________________

(DOG YELPS)
_________________________________

(DOOR SLAMS)
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-(BELL RINGS)

-(SHIP'S HORN BLOWS)
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(GROANS) Oh...
_________________________________

-(DOOR CREAKS)

-Come on over, Lisa.
_________________________________

You can canvass me
as long as you want.

_________________________________

Milhouse, you don't care

about the environment.
_________________________________

Hey! I am very passionate

about the planet!
_________________________________

Say global warming is a myth!
_________________________________

It's a myth! Further study is needed!
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

That's for selling out your beliefs!
_________________________________

Oh, poor Milhouse.
_________________________________

-Dream coming true.

-(KNOCKING)
_________________________________

COLIN: Are you aware that

a leaky faucet can waste over...
_________________________________

-(DOOR SLAMS)

-2,000 gallons a year.
_________________________________

-And turning off your lights can save...

-Enough energy to power Pittsburgh.
_________________________________

And if we just kept our

thermostats at 68 in winter...
_________________________________

We'd be free from our dependency

on foreign oil in 17 years!
_________________________________

-I'm Colin.

-(GASPS SOFTLY)
_________________________________

I haven't seen you at school.
_________________________________

Just moved from Ireland.

My dad's a musician.
_________________________________

-Is he...

-He's not Bono.
_________________________________

I just thought because you're

Irish and you care about...
_________________________________

He's not Bono.
_________________________________

Do you play?
_________________________________

Just piano, guitar,

trumpet, drums and bass.
_________________________________

LISA: (THINKING) He's pure gold!

For once in your life, be cool.
_________________________________

So is your name as pretty as your face?
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

(SCREECHES) Ha! Ha!
_________________________________

You okay there?
_________________________________

(LISA GAGGING)
_________________________________

(CHOKING AND GIGGLING)
_________________________________

Twisted tail! A thousand eyes!

Trapped forever! EPA! EPA!
_________________________________

"EPA." What could that be?
_________________________________

I believe it's the sound

the Green Lantern made
_________________________________

when Sinestro threw him
into a vat of acid.

_________________________________

Epa!
_________________________________

Yeah. Uh, thanks for coming over.
_________________________________

Thanks for giving me

your pregnancy pants.
_________________________________

I've never known comfort like this.
_________________________________

(ELASTIC SLAPS)
_________________________________

-(BB'S PINGING)

-(HOMER GRUNTING)
_________________________________

D'oh! Oh, why did I... Oh! Suggest this?
_________________________________

(SHRIEKING) Oh! Aah!

Ow! Ee! Aah! Aah!
_________________________________

(CONTINUES SHRIEKING)
_________________________________

(TIMER DINGS)
_________________________________

All right, boy, time for the ultimate dare.
_________________________________

I dare you to skateboard

to Krusty Burger and back...
_________________________________

naked.
_________________________________

-How naked?

-Fourth base.
_________________________________

But girls might see my doodle.
_________________________________

(MOCKING) Oh, I see. Then

I hereby declare you "chicken for life."
_________________________________

Every morning, you'll wake up

to "Good morning, chicken."
_________________________________

At your wedding, I'll sing...
_________________________________

(CLUCKING WEDDING SONG)
_________________________________

(SURPRISED CLUCK)
_________________________________

(SURF ROCK PLAYING)
_________________________________

(PEOPLE GASP)
_________________________________

I like men now.
_________________________________

Don't look where I'm pointing!
_________________________________

(SIREN WAILING)
_________________________________

WIGGUM: Stop in the name of

American squeamishness!
_________________________________

-(TIRES SCREECH)

-(DRIVERS GASPING)
_________________________________

Boys, before we eat, don't forget

to thank the Lord for this bountiful...
_________________________________

Penis!
_________________________________

BOTH: Bountiful penis.
_________________________________

Amen.
_________________________________

(GLASS SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

Listen, kid, nobody

likes wearing clothes in public,
_________________________________

but, you know, it-it's the law.
_________________________________

Lunchtime!
_________________________________

You can't just leave me out here.
_________________________________

Don't worry. We found

a friend for you to play with.
_________________________________

Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
_________________________________

(HOARSELY) Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha...
_________________________________

Nelson, honey, where have you been?
_________________________________

Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
_________________________________

Dad!
_________________________________

What seems to be the problem, officers?
_________________________________

Tell them you dared me to do it.
_________________________________

If that's true, then you should be

taking the rap here, not your son.
_________________________________

And what happens to me if it's my fault?
_________________________________

You'll have to attend

a one-hour parenting class.
_________________________________

It was all his idea!

He's out of control, I tell you!
_________________________________

I'm at my wit's end!
_________________________________

(SOBBING) It's so...
_________________________________

WIGGUM: See you in court, kid.
_________________________________

Okay, son, let's get some lunch.
_________________________________

Did you at least bring my clothes?
_________________________________

Shirt, socks, everything you need.
_________________________________

-You didn't bring my pants!

-Who am I, Tommy Bahama?
_________________________________

(SIGHS) Oh, this is

the worst day of my life.
_________________________________

The worst day of your life so far.
_________________________________

-Say, Bart?

-What do you want, Flanders?
_________________________________

If you need pants, I carry an extra pair.
_________________________________

I mean, you know how boys are,

always praying through the knees.
_________________________________

Why are you helping me?

I'm not your kid.
_________________________________

We're neighbors. I'm sure your father

would do the same for my boys.
_________________________________

HOMER: Thank you.
_________________________________

(CHOMPING) Mm, mm, mm...
_________________________________

(MUMBLING)
_________________________________

-Hey, what's with you?

-You really want to know?
_________________________________

Of course I do.
_________________________________

What kind of a father
wouldn't care about...

_________________________________

A pig wearing a hat!
_________________________________

DIRECTOR: Action.
_________________________________

Hey, hey! It's your old pal Krusty,
for my new pork sandwich, the Klogger!

_________________________________

If you can find a greasier sandwich,

you're in Mexico!
_________________________________

(GOOFY LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Mmm!
_________________________________

DIRECTOR: And we're clear.
_________________________________

Blech! Perfect. Cut, print, kill the pig.
_________________________________

(SQUEALING)
_________________________________

What? You can't kill him

if he's wearing people clothes.
_________________________________

(SQUEALS)
_________________________________

(SQUEAKS, SNORTS)
_________________________________

(MAN SINGING

ROMANTIC POP SONG)
_________________________________

-You're coming home with me.

-(SQUEALS AND SNORTS)
_________________________________

(GUNSHOTS AND BABIES CRYING)
_________________________________

"A thousand eyes." What could that be?
_________________________________

Hmm, I'm pretty sure
a thousand is a number.

_________________________________

Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married

to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
_________________________________

Actually, it's aged me horribly.
_________________________________

Then say hello to the newest Simpson!

_________________________________

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Homer!
_________________________________

(QUIET GRUNT)
_________________________________

I believe what happened in church

was a warning about precisely this.
_________________________________

Please, get rid of that pig!
_________________________________

Oh, you're gonna love him.

Look, he does an impression of you.
_________________________________

(SQUEALS LOUDLY)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING) You nailed her.
_________________________________

He also does me.
_________________________________

(BELCHES)
_________________________________

(MARGE LAUGHING)
_________________________________

You smiled! I'm off the hook!
_________________________________

Ooh.
_________________________________

(HOMER HUMMING)
_________________________________

Oh, you have so many looks.
_________________________________

(PLOPPER SNORTS)
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(KISSING)
_________________________________

(VACUUM WHIRRING)
_________________________________

Hmm, so that's what snug is.
_________________________________

HOMER: Who's a good pig?
_________________________________

(BLOWING RASPBERRIES)
_________________________________

Who's a good pig?
_________________________________

NED: Rough day, huh, son?
_________________________________

You don't know what rough is, sister.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

Bart, you know, whenever my boys

bake up a batch of frownies,
_________________________________

I take them fishing.
_________________________________

Does your dad ever take you fishing?
_________________________________

-(ELECTRICAL BUZZING)

-Dad!
_________________________________

It's not fair to use a bug zapper
to catch the fish.

_________________________________

If you love fish like I do,

you want them to die with dignity.
_________________________________

(LOUD ZAPPING)
_________________________________

(GURGLING)
_________________________________

I think I have a nibble. (SCREAMS)
_________________________________

-(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)

-(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

-(SCREAMING)

-(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)
_________________________________

-(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)

-(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

I think fishing might be
more fun with you.

_________________________________

Oh, great. Now, how about

I fix you some cocoa?
_________________________________

No way, cocoa's for wusses.
_________________________________

Well, sir, if you change your mind,

it's on the windowsill.
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(SLURPING)
_________________________________

BART: Oh, my God.
_________________________________

Oh, wait. I didn't tell you the

best part. He loves the environment.
_________________________________

Oh, wait, I still didn't tell you

the best part. He's got an Irish brogue.
_________________________________

No, no, wait, wait!
I still didn't tell you the best part!

_________________________________

He's not imaginary.
_________________________________

Oh, honey, that's great.
_________________________________

But the very best thing
is that he listens to you.

_________________________________

Because nothing means more
than for a man to...
_________________________________

How did the pig tracks
get on the ceiling?
_________________________________

♪ Spider Pig, Spider-Pig
_________________________________

♪ Does whatever a Spider Pig does
_________________________________

♪ Can he swing from a web?
_________________________________

♪ No, he can't, he's a pig
_________________________________

♪ Look out He is the Spider-Pig.
_________________________________

(DUCKS QUACKING)
_________________________________

Are we having fun yet?
_________________________________

We are now. You've got a bite.
_________________________________

Whoa, mama!
_________________________________

Oh, no, my good pole!
_________________________________

(CHOKING)
_________________________________

Huh? You're not strangling me.
_________________________________

What the...

Why, strangling's only good for...
_________________________________

Well, it's not really good for anything.
_________________________________

I think the only time

you should lay hands on a boy
_________________________________

is when you're giving him

a good old pat on the back.
_________________________________

Hey, what the hell are you...
_________________________________

Oh... One more time.
_________________________________

-(INCOHERENT RAMBLING)

-(MEOWING)
_________________________________

-(BOTTLES CLINKING)

-Honey, I'm home.
_________________________________

(SHRIEKS)
_________________________________

(GROWLS)
_________________________________

(GUITAR PLAYING SWEETLY)
_________________________________

LISA: We are at
the tipping point, people.

_________________________________

If we don't do something now, uh...
_________________________________

I'm sorry, I lost my train of thought.
Isn't he dreamy?

_________________________________

-Agreed.

-(GAVEL BANGS)
_________________________________

Okay, so here's the bottom line.
_________________________________

If we don't change our ways right now,
_________________________________

pollution in Lake Springfield

will be at this level.
_________________________________

(MOTOR WHIRRING)
_________________________________

That's not so bad.
_________________________________

-No, the lift is stuck.

-(GEARS GRINDING)
_________________________________

(WHIRRING AND GRINDING)
_________________________________

(CRASHING)
_________________________________

Am I getting through to anyone?
_________________________________

Hell, yeah. We need a new one
of those things.

_________________________________

All in favor of a new scissor lift say aye.
_________________________________

-CROWD: Aye.

-No!
_________________________________

This lake is just one piece of trash

away from a toxic nightmare.
_________________________________

But I knew you wouldn't listen,
_________________________________

so I took the liberty of pouring water

from the lake
_________________________________

in all your drinking glasses.
_________________________________

(SPITTING AND GROANING)
_________________________________

MOE: This is why we should hate kids.
_________________________________

This is serious, people.
_________________________________

No more dumping in the lake.

I hereby declare a state of emergency.
_________________________________

Code black.
_________________________________

(GASPING)
_________________________________

Black? That's the worst color there is.
_________________________________

-No offense there, Carl.

-I get it all the time.
_________________________________

(TRIUMPHANT

ORCHESTRATION PLAYS)
_________________________________

(SIZZLING)
_________________________________

(MACHINERY WHIRRING)
_________________________________

Uh, sorry, sorry. No dumping in the lake.
_________________________________

Fine. I will put my yard

trimmings in a car compactor.
_________________________________

Uh... Chief, I think there

was a dead body in there.
_________________________________

I thought that too,

until he said "yard trimmings."
_________________________________

You got to learn to listen, Lou.
_________________________________

Let us now make sure this barrier

is completely idiot proof.
_________________________________

-Cletus.

-Yessum?
_________________________________

Try to dump something in the lake.
_________________________________

Okay.
_________________________________

I can't. I-I simply can't.
_________________________________

-Brilliant.

-Very effective.
_________________________________

(SNORTS)
_________________________________

(KISSING)
_________________________________

Ayayay!
_________________________________

Un burro amoroso!
_________________________________

Don't get any ideas. Huh?
_________________________________

(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Maybe we should kiss
just to break the tension.

_________________________________

What's going on here?
_________________________________

Uh, nothing, nothing.
_________________________________

I'm not sure that pig
should be in the house.

_________________________________

And by the way,
what are you doing with his leavings?

_________________________________

Don't worry. I've devised a most
elegant solution.

_________________________________

(GROANS) Oh, it's leaking.
_________________________________

It's not leaking, it's overflowing.
_________________________________

He filled up the whole silo

in just two days?
_________________________________

Well, I helped.
_________________________________

Homer, stop. I know it's easy

for your mind to wander...
_________________________________

(CYMBALS CLICKING)
_________________________________

(MUFFLED) I want you

to really concentrate on me.
_________________________________

I can't escape the feeling that this is
the crisis Grandpa warned us about.

_________________________________

You have to dispose
of that waste properly.

_________________________________

Okay, Marge, I will.
_________________________________

You can take Spider Pig with you.
_________________________________

He's not Spider-Pig anymore.

He's Harry Plopper.
_________________________________

(SNORTS)
_________________________________

(FAINT CELL PHONE CHIMING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

Y'ello.
_________________________________

Homer, you got to get over here.
_________________________________

Health inspector just

shut down the doughnut store,
_________________________________

and they're giving out free doughnuts.
_________________________________

Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.

I just got one thing I got to do first.
_________________________________

Well, you better hurry!

They're going fast.
_________________________________

(GUNSHOT)
_________________________________

Whoa, that was close.
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

(TIRES SCREECHING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(GURGLING)
_________________________________

(GURGLING)
_________________________________

(FIZZING)
_________________________________

Uh-oh.
_________________________________

SKULL: Evil!
_________________________________

Drive, drive, drive!
_________________________________

-(SNORTING)

-Oh, right.
_________________________________

(TIRES SCREECHING)
_________________________________

(CHITTERING)
_________________________________

(SNARLING)
_________________________________

(BUBBLING)
_________________________________

(GROWLING)
_________________________________

(GIGGLES)
_________________________________

Look at that. You can see the

four states that border Springfield.
_________________________________

Ohio, Nevada, Maine and Kentucky.
_________________________________

Oh, yeah.
_________________________________

And if you look real close,

you can almost... (SHRIEKS)
_________________________________

Well, this certainly seems odd,
_________________________________

but who am I to question

the work of the Almighty?
_________________________________

Oh, we thank you, Lord, for

this mighty fine intelligent design.
_________________________________

Good job.
_________________________________

BART: Jabbity, jabbity, jab, jab, jab!
_________________________________

Hey, jab one more eye,
and it's a federal crime.

_________________________________

-Who are you?

-Environmental Protection Agency.
_________________________________

Russ Cargill, head of the E.P.A.,

here to see the president.
_________________________________

(BUZZING)
_________________________________

(RAPID BUZZING)
_________________________________

Mr. President.
_________________________________

Ja. That is me.
_________________________________

Pollution in Springfield

has reached crisis levels.
_________________________________

Oh... I hate this job. Everything's

crisis this and end of the world that.
_________________________________

Nobody opens with a joke.

I miss Danny DeVito.
_________________________________

You want a joke, huh?

Stop me if you've heard this one.
_________________________________

-(GROWLING)

-(GASPS)
_________________________________

Look at those angry eyes
and giant teeth.

_________________________________

It's like Christmas

at the Kennedy compound.
_________________________________

You know, sir, when you

made me head of the E.P.A.,
_________________________________

you were applauded for appointing one

of the most successful men in America
_________________________________

to the least successful

agency in government.
_________________________________

And why did I take the job?
_________________________________

'Cause I'm a rich man who

wanted to give something back.
_________________________________

Not the money, but something.
_________________________________

So here is our chance to kick

some ass for Mother Earth.
_________________________________

I'm listening.
_________________________________

Well, I've narrowed your choices
down to five unthinkable options.

_________________________________

Each will cause untold misery...
_________________________________

I pick number three.
_________________________________

You don't even want to read them first?
_________________________________

I was elected to lead, not to read.
Number three!

_________________________________

(LOW RUMBLING)
_________________________________

(INHALER WHOOSING)
_________________________________

(CHOKING)
_________________________________

(RUMBLING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(ROTORS WHIRRING)
_________________________________

(CRACKING AND RUMBLING)
_________________________________

(GASPING) We're being

sealed in a dome! (YELLS)
_________________________________

(THUDS) Whoa!
_________________________________

Oh, what do I do?

I don't know what to do.
_________________________________

If I stay I'm trapped, if I leave I'm alone.
_________________________________

Oh, God! In, out, in, out...
_________________________________

I never saw Venice.
_________________________________

(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)
_________________________________

(CRASHING)
_________________________________

EPA! EPA! Trapped forever.
_________________________________

It's all come true.
_________________________________

That crazy old man in church was right.
_________________________________

(SUCTION POPPING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING) D'oh-ome!
_________________________________

(INDISTINCT MURMURING)
_________________________________

(SIRENS APPROACHING)
_________________________________

(GASPING AND SHRIEKING)
_________________________________

All right, men, open fire.
_________________________________

-(GUNSHOTS RICOCHETING)

-COPS: Ow!
_________________________________

Who's hurt? Raise your hands.
_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

Without the attitude.
_________________________________

People, people.
I have an important announcement.

_________________________________

I have just perfected
an acid-firing super-drill

_________________________________

which can cut through anything.
_________________________________

-Hey, that's cool.

-(CROWD GASPING)
_________________________________

It's right there.
_________________________________

Just outside... of the dome.
_________________________________

(CROWD GROANING)
_________________________________

(BANGING)
_________________________________

What ruthless madmen

could have done this to us?
_________________________________

CARGILL:

The United States government.
_________________________________

(GASPING AND MURMURING)
_________________________________

(STATIC HISSES)
_________________________________

My name is Russ Cargill,

and I'm head of the E.P.A.
_________________________________

(INSDISTNICT MURMURING)
_________________________________

The what?
_________________________________

-Environmental Protection Agency.

-LENNY: Come again?
_________________________________

Look, I'm a man on a big TV. Just listen.
_________________________________

-Springfield has become...

-MAN 1: Whoo! Springfield!
_________________________________

the most polluted city

in the history of the planet.
_________________________________

KRUSTY: Drama queen!
_________________________________

To keep your poisons from spreading,
_________________________________

your government has

sealed you all within this dome.
_________________________________

(GASPING)
_________________________________

Believe me,
it's the last thing we wanted to do.
_________________________________

I do own the company that makes

the dome, but that's beside the point.
_________________________________

What, are you telling us
we're trapped like rats?

_________________________________

No, rats can't be trapped this easily.

You're trapped like... carrots.
_________________________________

Wait. We couldn't be more polluted.

Everyone stopped dumping in the lake.
_________________________________

Apparently someone
didn't get the message.

_________________________________

Act natural.
_________________________________

(SNORTS)
_________________________________

Hey, buddy, sooner or later, people are
going to come by and discover this.

_________________________________

Don't worry about that. We found

a way to take you off the map.
_________________________________

G.P.S.: Coming up on your right...
_________________________________

-(BEEP)

-Nothing.
_________________________________

This is Kent Brockman,

reporting to you on a crisis so serious
_________________________________

it has its own name and theme music.
_________________________________

(DRAMATIC THEME PLAYING)
_________________________________

The dome has put

an end to life as we know it.
_________________________________

The town is running low on supplies

of everything from gasoline to Botox.
_________________________________

Moment, please.
_________________________________

Now, as always, (CHUCKLES)

we end our news on the lighter side.
_________________________________

It's the time of year when

the swallows return to Springfield.
_________________________________

(CHIRPING)
_________________________________

(THUDDING)
_________________________________

(SCREECHING ALONG GLASS)
_________________________________

(MEOWING)
_________________________________

(WIND RUSTLING TREES)
_________________________________

(MARGE SIGHS DEEPLY)
_________________________________

I think the thing I miss most

is a simple summer breeze.
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Maggie?
_________________________________

(SUCKS PACIFIER)
_________________________________

ANNOUNCER: We've got dome
wax, dome polish, dome freshener,

_________________________________

all your dome needs at Dome Depot,

located at the intersection
_________________________________

of the 105 Freeway and the dome.
_________________________________

CHORUS: Dome Depot!
_________________________________

(BELL DINGS)
_________________________________

-Maggie got out! Maggie got out!

-Huh?
_________________________________

Maggie was right there.
Just outside the dome.

_________________________________

Marge, she's right here.
_________________________________

Hmm?
_________________________________

This dome can play tricks on you.

You just have to keep calm and...
_________________________________

Oh, my God!
_________________________________

I'm out of the dome.
Fresh air! Freedom!

_________________________________

(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
_________________________________

I'll write you. Lead good lives.
_________________________________

(HOMER GROANS)
_________________________________

(MARGE SIGHS HEAVILY)
_________________________________

(SUCKS PACIFIER)
_________________________________

Good evening, this is Kent Brockman.

Efforts to find out whose selfish crime
_________________________________

against the environment caused

our entrapment have been fruitless.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

-Until moments ago,

-(SHRIEKS)
_________________________________

a shocking discovery has been made
here at Lake Springfield.

_________________________________

That could be anybody's pig-crap silo.
_________________________________

-(SHRIEKS)

-(GASPS)
_________________________________

Homer! It was you!
_________________________________

You single-handedly killed this town.
_________________________________

I know. It's weird.
_________________________________

Just a reminder. This station

does not endorse vigilante justice.
_________________________________

Unless it gets results. Which it will.
_________________________________

(BUZZER SOUNDING)
_________________________________

You didn't listen to me
after I warned you!

_________________________________

Don't worry, nobody

watches this stupid show.
_________________________________

Hmm, what's that ominous

glow in the distance?
_________________________________

(CLAMORING)
_________________________________

MOB: (CHANTING)

Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
_________________________________

Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
_________________________________

Marge, look, those idiots

don't even know where we live.
_________________________________

-MOB: Kill! Kill! Kill!

-D'oh!
_________________________________

MOB: (CHANTING)

We want Homer! We want Homer!
_________________________________

You monster! You monster!
_________________________________

Uh, did you see the news?
_________________________________

Honey, come on,
we have bigger problems.

_________________________________

But I'm so angry.
_________________________________

You're a woman.
You can hold on to it forever.

_________________________________

(SNIFFLES)
_________________________________

Okay.
_________________________________

(CHANTING CONTINUES)
_________________________________

Homer, you have to go out there,

face that mob
_________________________________

and apologize for what you did.
_________________________________

I would, but I'm afraid if I

open the door, they'll take all of you.
_________________________________

CARL: No, we won't.
We just want Homer!

_________________________________

Well, maybe not you,

but they'll kill Grandpa.
_________________________________

GRAMPA: I'm part of the mob!
_________________________________

Teeny, take out the baby!
_________________________________

(SCREECHES)
_________________________________

(SQUEALING)
_________________________________

(CLAMORING)
_________________________________

(SWEET, ROMANTIC

THEME PLAYING)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Here, let me get that for you.
_________________________________

(DISAPPOINTED SIGH)
_________________________________

(RATTLING)
_________________________________

Stay back. I got a chain saw!
_________________________________

(IMITATES CHAIN SAW REVVING)
_________________________________

(SLOWLY, WEAKLY MAKING

CHAIN SAW SOUNDS)
_________________________________

Uh-oh.
_________________________________

(MOB SHOUTING)
_________________________________

Bart! Crawl across, hurry!
_________________________________

But if they see you

trying to help us, they'll kill you.
_________________________________

Oh, pshaw! I'm sure your

father would do the same for...
_________________________________

Point taken. Now, hustle your bustles.
_________________________________

Archers!
_________________________________

I'm using a red arrow,
so I know who I kill.

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

No, Plopper.

If you push that, daddy will die.
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Hey, my luck's beginning to turn.
_________________________________

Wait! There's something I have to get.
_________________________________

(GASPS) Ooh!
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

-What'd you get?

-Our wedding video.
_________________________________

-We have a wedding video?

-KRUSTY: Torch his gas tank!
_________________________________

We lost 'em.
_________________________________

Yahoo!
_________________________________

(HOMER LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Ooh! Up here!
_________________________________

Get 'em! Get 'em!
_________________________________

HOMER: Little help?
_________________________________

(HOMER HOWLS)
_________________________________

You know, the word "apology"...
_________________________________

is tossed around a lot these days,

but when it comes from in here...
_________________________________

D'oh!
_________________________________

(HOMER SCREAMS)
_________________________________

Mom, what are we gonna do?
_________________________________

Maggie, not now.
_________________________________

We'll play later.
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

The sinkhole. Follow me, kids.
_________________________________

BART: Geronimo!

LISA: Sacajawea!
_________________________________

So long, losers.
_________________________________

(THUD)
_________________________________

Uh-oh.
_________________________________

The top of his head is still showing.
Claw at it!

_________________________________

(HOMER SHRIEKING)
_________________________________

NELSON: Ha-ha!
_________________________________

(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

(CAR ALARM WAILING)
_________________________________

(DEEP RUMBLING)
_________________________________

(CROWD SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(CLOCK CHIMING)
_________________________________

(CUCKOOS)
_________________________________

Well, they're China's problem now.
_________________________________

(KNOCKING)
_________________________________

Colin!
_________________________________

(NO AUDIO)
_________________________________

I can't hear you!
_________________________________

(MARKER SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

♪ Da, da-da, da-da, da, da... ♪
_________________________________

I never thought my life would have an

absolutely perfect moment, but this...
_________________________________

(SINGSONGY) Lisa's got a

boyfriend that she'll never see again!
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

Perfect.
_________________________________

(SIRENS WAILING)
_________________________________

(TIRES SCREECHING)
_________________________________

-What do we do?

-Now we run.
_________________________________

I'm afraid we lost them, sir.
_________________________________

Damn it.
_________________________________

Well, then you find them and

you get them back in the dome.
_________________________________

And to make sure nobody else gets out,
_________________________________

I want roving death squads

around the perimeter 24/7.
_________________________________

I want 10,000 tough guys,
_________________________________

and I want 10,000 soft guys

to make the tough guys look tougher.
_________________________________

And here's how I want them arranged:

Tough, tough, soft, tough, soft,
_________________________________

soft, tough, tough, soft, soft, tough, soft.

_________________________________

Sir, I'm afraid you've

gone mad with power.
_________________________________

Of course I have. Did you ever

try going mad without power?
_________________________________

It's boring. No one listens to you.
_________________________________

Whew!
_________________________________

(SIREN WAILS)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

-(GROANING PASSIONATELY)

-(SMOOCHING)
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

(SUCKS PACIFIER)
_________________________________

(HELICOPTER BLADE WHIRRING)
_________________________________

-Bart, are you drinking whiskey?

-I'm troubled.
_________________________________

-Bart.

-I promise I'll stop tomorrow.
_________________________________

You'll stop right now.
_________________________________

You come back here, little man.
_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

(DRUNKENLY) I miss Flanders.
There, I said it!

_________________________________

-Where's your father?

-He went out.
_________________________________

Let's quickly rebuild

our lives while he's gone.
_________________________________

HOMER: Hey, guys?
_________________________________

What's the secret knock again?
_________________________________

Look, I know I screwed up. This is big.
_________________________________

It's huge! We're homeless!
_________________________________

Our friends wanna kill us!
_________________________________

Before we can even stay

in the same room with you,
_________________________________

I need to know
what was going through your mind

_________________________________

when you didn't listen to me
_________________________________

and dumped that silo in the lake.
_________________________________

-(CLUELESS WHIMPER)

-Homer!
_________________________________

I don't know what to tell you, Marge.

I don't think about things.
_________________________________

I respect people who do,
_________________________________

but I just try to make the days not hurt

until I get to crawl in next to you again.
_________________________________

(SWEETLY) Oh...
_________________________________

(STERNLY) I mean, oh.
_________________________________

Look, I'm really sorry.
But I'm more than just sorry.

_________________________________

I'm prepared with a solution.
_________________________________

I've always been afraid

I'd screw up our lives so badly
_________________________________

that we'd need a backup plan.
_________________________________

And that plan is right here.
(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

No...
_________________________________

Nope.
_________________________________

Bingo.
_________________________________

Bear with me.
_________________________________

Ta... da!
_________________________________

(ANGELIC CHORUS SINGING)
_________________________________

Alaska?
_________________________________

Alaska. A place where you

can't be too fat or too drunk.
_________________________________

Where no one says things like:
_________________________________

"Let's see your high school

equivalency certificate."
_________________________________

Oh, I don't know, Homie.
_________________________________

Oh, I'm not saying it right.
_________________________________

Look, the thing is,
I can't start a new life alone.

_________________________________

And I've really come to like you guys.
_________________________________

I just don't see it.
_________________________________

Marge, in every marriage,

you get one chance to say:
_________________________________

"I need you to do this with me."
_________________________________

And there's only one answer

when somebody says that.
_________________________________

Okay, Homie. I'm with you.
_________________________________

Thank you, my sweetheart.
_________________________________

-BART: Mom?

-Yes, honey?
_________________________________

You just bought another load of crap
_________________________________

from the world's fattest
fertilizer salesman.

_________________________________

You'll pay for ruining

this golden family moment!
_________________________________

Homer!
_________________________________

How are we supposed to get
to Alaska without any money?

_________________________________

All right, son, if you don't

believe in me, believe in America.
_________________________________

America, where any man can make

quick money with no questions asked.
_________________________________

Step right up and win my truck.
_________________________________

All you have to do is conquer

the Ball of Death.
_________________________________

-What's the catch?

-No catch.
_________________________________

Just ride the motorcycle

all the way around just one time.
_________________________________

Three tries for $10.
_________________________________

Marge, how much money do we have?
_________________________________

-Ten dollars.

-Whoo-hoo!
_________________________________

That counts as a try.
_________________________________

(ENGINE REVVING)
_________________________________

HOMER: Ow! 

BARKER: That's two.
_________________________________

(ENGINE REVS)
_________________________________

HOMER: Ow!

BARKER: And that's three.
_________________________________

Tell you what I'm going to do, just

'cause I like seeing you hurt yourself:
_________________________________

I'll give you one on the house.
_________________________________

-You're the best.

-LISA: Dad!
_________________________________

When you get to the top,

don't slow down, speed up!
_________________________________

-But that's when it's the scariest!

-Just do it!
_________________________________

Ooh! Oh!
_________________________________

Whoo-hoo!
_________________________________

(CROWD CHEERING

AND WHISTLING)
_________________________________

BART: Yes!
_________________________________

LISA: Yay, Dad!
_________________________________

I'll take that truck now.
_________________________________

Oh, man. My wives are gonna kill me.
_________________________________

HOMER: Next stop, Alaska!
_________________________________

Day 37 under the dome.
_________________________________

We are facing intermittent

power failures which...
_________________________________

Okay, very funny. Now, I'm

going to turn the lights off again.
_________________________________

When they come back on, I want all
my booze back the way it was.

_________________________________

Yeah, okay. Okay.
_________________________________

I'm very proud of you, Bart.

Over 24 hours sober.
_________________________________

-You are, aren't you?

-I'll prove it.
_________________________________

(MOANING WITH PLEASURE)
_________________________________

Look, we're giving

your father another chance,
_________________________________

and we owe it to him to... (GASPS)
_________________________________

-Oh, my God.

-Can I help you?
_________________________________

Uh.. Uh, we need diapers.
_________________________________

-Okay.

-No, no, we don't. We don't.
_________________________________

-Ladies' razorblades.

-Right.
_________________________________

No, no, no, we don't.

I forgot, we're European.
_________________________________

(MARGE GIGGLING)
_________________________________

-Uh-huh.

-Just give us beef jerky.
_________________________________

Lots and lots of beef jerky.
_________________________________

That's right. That's what we need.

That's all we came in for.
_________________________________

Sure.
_________________________________

Mmm-hmm.
_________________________________

Oh, my God, there they...
There they are!
_________________________________

(SUCKS PACIFIER)
_________________________________

(BART LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)
_________________________________

(ZAPPING AND CRACKLING)
_________________________________

So you want some
of my electricity, do you?

_________________________________

(SNICKERING)
_________________________________

Well, for once,

the rich white man is in control.
_________________________________

I have two buttons behind this desk.
_________________________________

One will supply your town with power,

the other releases the hounds.
_________________________________

Reach me, make me your brother.
_________________________________

The hospital's generator

is about to give out.
_________________________________

Lives will be lost!
_________________________________

Lives... lost. Go on.
_________________________________

We got a convict we were going to

fry tomorrow, but now we can't.
_________________________________

Tempting... Tempting.
_________________________________

Look, all our reasons mean nothing.
_________________________________

Just look into your heart

and you'll find the answer.
_________________________________

(APU SCREAMING)
_________________________________

BURNS: First door on the right.

APU: Thank you.
_________________________________

-(ALL SCREAMING)

-(HOUNDS BARKING)
_________________________________

What? This isn't the way
I pictured Alaska at all!

_________________________________

Oh, that's better.
_________________________________

Homer!
_________________________________

-(TIRES SCREECHING)

-(ALL SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Well, at least my poster didn't get torn.
_________________________________

(FINGERS SQUEAK

AGAINST GLASS)
_________________________________

(GASPING)
_________________________________

(GRAND ORCHESTRAL

THEME SWELLS)
_________________________________

Welcome to Alaska.
Here's a thousand dollars.
_________________________________

Well, it's about time, but why?
_________________________________

We pay every resident

a thousand dollars
_________________________________

to allow oil companies to

ravage our state's natural beauty.
_________________________________

I'm home.
_________________________________

Oh, thanks.
_________________________________

(LUSH ORCHESTRAL

THEME PLAYING)
_________________________________

What are you doing, Bart?
_________________________________

Eh, just passing the time.
_________________________________

(CLAP ECHOING)
_________________________________

(CLAP ECHOING)
_________________________________

(CLAPPING)
_________________________________

Aw. My boy loves Alaska

so much, he's applauding it.
_________________________________

-Lisa, why aren't you clapping?

-But, Dad...
_________________________________

Clap for Alaska.
_________________________________

(CLAPPING)
_________________________________

(DEEP RUMBLING)
_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

(HOMER SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(SNOW CRUNCHING)
_________________________________

Well, Marge, we're separated

from the kids by a wall of snow.
_________________________________

All my dreams are coming true.
_________________________________

(DISNEY-STYLE

ORCHESTRATION PLAYS)
_________________________________

(BIRDS SINGING)
_________________________________

(CHORUS VOCALIZING MELODY)
_________________________________

(FABRIC TEARING)
_________________________________

(BIRDS TWEETING)
_________________________________

(WHISTLES)
_________________________________

(SCREECHES)
_________________________________

(FABRIC TEARING)
_________________________________

(ORCHESTRATION CONTINUES)
_________________________________

Day 93 under the dome.
_________________________________

With necessities

growing dangerously low,
_________________________________

who knows what spark

will set off this powder keg.
_________________________________

Okay, let's discuss

Tuesdays with Morrie.
_________________________________

Again?
_________________________________

If we don't get a new book,

I'm going to puke.
_________________________________

You're the five people

I'm going to meet in hell!
_________________________________

-(GRUNTING)

-(GLASS BREAKING)
_________________________________

We're out of coffee!
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

BARNEY: I can't take another
minute in this dome!

_________________________________

(YELLING)
_________________________________

(SHOUTING AND GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Y'ar! Y'ar!
_________________________________

Take that!
_________________________________

Oh, no! Blowback.
_________________________________

(SHOUTING)
_________________________________

(WHIRRING)
_________________________________

Look what they're doing to our dome.
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(TRUMPETING)
_________________________________

(CRACKING)
_________________________________

You know what that is, sir?
_________________________________

-A crack?

-Exactly.
_________________________________

First, let me state the problem.
_________________________________

People got out of the dome before,

they're going to get out again.
_________________________________

And when they do, there's going

to be hearings, investigations.
_________________________________

(SPEAKING GERMAN)
_________________________________

I'll have to go back to

making family comedies.
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Don't worry,

I have a solution for you, sir.
_________________________________

In fact, I have five solutions.
_________________________________

You don't have to read them.

You'll have deniability.
_________________________________

I'll take care of it. You know nothing.
_________________________________

No. I need to know what I'm approving.
_________________________________

Absolutely. But on the other hand,

knowing things is overrated.
_________________________________

Anyone can pick something

when they know what it is.
_________________________________

It takes real leadership to pick

something you're clueless about.
_________________________________

Okay, I pick three.
_________________________________

-Try again.

-One.
_________________________________

-Go higher.

-Five?
_________________________________

-Too high.

-Three?
_________________________________

-You already said three.

-Six?
_________________________________

-There is no six.

-Two?
_________________________________

-Double it.

-Four!
_________________________________

As you wish, sir.
_________________________________

(HAPPY MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)
_________________________________

HANKS: Are you tired

of the same old Grand Canyon?
_________________________________

Here we are, kids, the Grand Canyon.
_________________________________

It's so old and boring.
I want a new one. Now!

_________________________________

Hello. I'm Tom Hanks.
_________________________________

The U.S. government

has lost its credibility...
_________________________________

so it's borrowing some of mine.
_________________________________

-Tousle my hair, Mr. Hanks.

-Sure thing, son.
_________________________________

(HANKS LAUGHS)
_________________________________

Now, I'm pleased to tell you all

about the New Grand Canyon.
_________________________________

Coming this weekend. It's east of

Shelbyville and south of Capitol City.
_________________________________

That's where Springfield is!
_________________________________

It's nowhere near where

anything is or ever was.
_________________________________

This is Tom Hanks saying
_________________________________

if you're going to pick a government

to trust, why not this one?
_________________________________

Did you see that?
_________________________________

Yes, they're going to destroy Springfield.
_________________________________

But we're going to stop them.
_________________________________

Homie, get your clothes on. Homie?
_________________________________

I'm happy here. Screw Springfield.
_________________________________

(GASPING)
_________________________________

I can't believe you'd

say something so selfish.
_________________________________

Marge, those people chased us

with pitchforks and torches.
_________________________________

Torches! At 4:00 in the afternoon!
_________________________________

-It was 7:00 at night.

-It was during Access Hollywood.
_________________________________

-Which is on at 4:00 and 7:00.

-D'oh!
_________________________________

Dad, how can you turn your back

on everyone who loved us?
_________________________________

Flanders helped

when we were in trouble.
_________________________________

Who cares what Flanders did?

He's not your father.
_________________________________

I wish he was.
_________________________________

You don't mean that. You worship me.
_________________________________

Oh, yeah?

Look what I did to your picture.
_________________________________

-(GASPING)

-Look at it!
_________________________________

Howdilly-doodilly. Howdilly-doodilly.
_________________________________

-Howdilly-doodilly.

-HOMER: Why, you little...
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

-I'll strangle-angle you.

-BART: Diddily, diddily.
_________________________________

Bart, stop it! Leave this to me.
_________________________________

Homer...
_________________________________

in every marriage you

get one chance to say
_________________________________

I need you to do this with me.
_________________________________

That is the stupidest thing

I've ever heard.
_________________________________

Homer Simpson!
_________________________________

We're saving Springfield!
_________________________________

Listen to me, all of you. We are staying.
_________________________________

We have a great life in Alaska,
_________________________________

and we're never going back
to America again.

_________________________________

I have spoken! Hmm!
_________________________________

(WIND WHISTLING)
_________________________________

(TIRES SCREECHING)
_________________________________

(VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYING)
_________________________________

(HOMER CHUCKLING)
_________________________________

Well, I guess I've let her

worry about me long enough.
_________________________________

-(WHISTLING)

-(TRUCK HORN BLOWS)
_________________________________

Marge? Kids?
_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

(STATIC HISSING)
_________________________________

MARGE: Okay, here goes.
_________________________________

Homer...
_________________________________

I've always stood up for you.
_________________________________

When people point out your flaws,
_________________________________

I always say,
_________________________________

"Well, sometimes you have to

stand back to appreciate a work of art."
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Way back.
_________________________________

Lately, what's keeping us together
_________________________________

is my ability to overlook

everything you do.
_________________________________

And I overlook these things because...
_________________________________

Because?
_________________________________

Well, that's the thing.
_________________________________

I just don't know how to finish

that sentence anymore.
_________________________________

So I'm leaving with the kids

to help Springfield,
_________________________________

and we're never coming back.
_________________________________

And to prove to myself

that this is the end...
_________________________________

I taped this over our wedding video.
_________________________________

Good-bye, Homie.
_________________________________

(STATIC HISSES)
_________________________________

(WOMAN SINGING

ROMANTIC BALLAD)
_________________________________

I love you.
_________________________________

(SINGING CONTINUES)
_________________________________

-(SINGING CONTINUES)

-Marge? Kids?
_________________________________

(CRACKING)
_________________________________

(SINGING CONTINUES)
_________________________________

(SINGING FADES)
_________________________________

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
_________________________________

(ROARING)
_________________________________

(SHOUTING GIBBERISH)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(YELPS)
_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS)
_________________________________

(SNIFFLING)
_________________________________

-So, Mom, what's our plan?

-What are you doing up there?
_________________________________

Looking through people's luggage.
_________________________________

(HIGH-PITCHED) I'm the

mascot of an evil corporation.
_________________________________

(LAUGHS)
_________________________________

Get down from there.

We have to keep a low profile
_________________________________

till we get to Seattle to tell the world

of the plot to destroy Springfield.
_________________________________

(WHISPERING) I don't know

if you guys should be talking so loud.
_________________________________

Oh, Lisa, it's not like the government

is listening to everybody's conversation.
_________________________________

(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)
_________________________________

(BEEPING)
_________________________________

(CONVERSATIONS OVERLAPPING)
_________________________________
WOMAN: Hi. I'm calling

about our Meat Lover's Pizza.
_________________________________

I like meat, but I don't know

if I'm ready to love again.
_________________________________

WOMAN 2: You hang up first.

MAN: No, you hang up first.
_________________________________

WOMAN 2: Okay.
_________________________________

(DIAL TONE HUMS)
_________________________________

MAN: She hung up on me!
_________________________________

LISA: But we're fugitives. We should

just lay low till we get to Seattle.
_________________________________

Hey, everybody! I found one!
_________________________________

The government actually found

someone we're looking for!
_________________________________

Yeah, baby! Yeah!
_________________________________

MEDICINE WOMAN: Homer Simpson,
_________________________________

do you know why you are here?
_________________________________

'Cause my family cares more about

other people than they do about me.
_________________________________

Drink this liquid.
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

More, please.
_________________________________

Now we will cleanse your spirit
_________________________________

by the ancient Inuit art of throat singing.
_________________________________

Throat singing?
_________________________________

(GUTTURAL CHANTING)
_________________________________

(BOTH CHANTING)
_________________________________

How long are we doing this?
_________________________________

-Until you have an epiphany.

-Okay.
_________________________________

(CHANTING)
_________________________________

What's an epiphany?
_________________________________

Sudden realization of great truth.
_________________________________

Okay.
_________________________________

(CHANTING)
_________________________________

(MUSIC PLAYS)
_________________________________

CHORUS: ♪ Spider Pig, Spider Pig
_________________________________

♪ Does whatever a Spider Pig does
_________________________________

-(RUMBLING)

-♪ Look out!
_________________________________

♪ He's a Spider Pig ♪
_________________________________

Unless you have an epiphany,
_________________________________

you will spend the remainder

of your days alone.
_________________________________

(BELL TOLLS)
_________________________________

Epiphany, epiphany, epiphany. Ooh!
_________________________________

Bananas are an excellent source
of potassium.

_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

Americans will never embrace soccer?
_________________________________

More than two shakes

and it's playing with yourself?
_________________________________

Hey, what are you doing?
_________________________________

Oh, do whatever you want to me.

I don't care about myself anymore.
_________________________________

MEDICINE WOMAN: Because?
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Because other people

are just as important as me.
_________________________________

Without them, I'm nothing.
_________________________________

In order to save myself...
_________________________________

I have to save Springfield!
_________________________________

That's it! Isn't it?
_________________________________

-(THE SIMPSONS THEME PLAYING)

-(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
_________________________________

(CHEERING CONTINUES)
_________________________________

(CHANTING)
_________________________________

That was the most

incredible experience of my life.
_________________________________

And now to find my family,

save my town and drop ten pounds.
_________________________________

Thank you, boob lady.
_________________________________

This is it, kids. Seattle.
_________________________________

(GASPING) Russ Cargill!

Do you think he saw us?
_________________________________

Yes, I did.
_________________________________

(DOGS BARKING)
_________________________________

Run! Run! Run! Run!
_________________________________

Run! Run!
_________________________________

Jump! Jump!
_________________________________

Land! Land!
_________________________________

Rest! Rest!
_________________________________

Run! Run!
_________________________________

Now, I know we've had a rough day,
_________________________________

but I'm sure we can put

all that behind us and just...
_________________________________

(GROWLING, SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Ow! Ow! That's my whipping arm!
_________________________________

(BARKING)
_________________________________

Why does everything I whip leave me?
_________________________________

-(WIND WHISTLING)

-Must keep going.
_________________________________

Must keep going.
_________________________________

(WHIMPERING)

No, I can't. I can't keep going.
_________________________________

Yes, you can.
_________________________________

No, I can't.
_________________________________

Oh, shut up.
_________________________________

You shut up.
_________________________________

No, you. No, you.
_________________________________

No, you. Oh, real mature.
_________________________________

How could you say that?
_________________________________

Oh, what's the point?
_________________________________

It's hopeless.
_________________________________

Don't give up, Homer.

You are closer than you think.
_________________________________

But which way do I go?
_________________________________

Much obliged.
_________________________________

(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)
_________________________________

(MEN SHOUTING IN DISTANCE)
_________________________________

Ten-hut!
_________________________________

(SAXOPHONE PLAYING)
_________________________________

Lisa, knock off that racket!
_________________________________

(GASPS) Lisa!
_________________________________

(PLAYING BLUESY TUNE)
_________________________________

They captured my family.

What do I do? What do I do?
_________________________________

(TIRES SCREECHING)
_________________________________

There's something strange

about that "sop" sign.
_________________________________

(ENGINE ROARING)
_________________________________

(SOFTLY CLINKS)
_________________________________

-(GASPS) Did you hear something?

-Probably just a moth.
_________________________________

I hope it's okay.
_________________________________

HOMER: (SCREAMING) Oh!
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

D'oh!
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

Look, look, look, look, look.
_________________________________

We can't keep stopping at every

"sop," "yeld", or "one vay" sign.
_________________________________

Just move on.
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Let us out! Let us out!
_________________________________

Stop that. You'll scratch your shackles.
_________________________________

I hope I do.
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(HISSING)
_________________________________

LISA: Oh, way to go, Bart.
_________________________________

You stink.
_________________________________

No, you stink.
_________________________________

(MOANING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

LISA: Ow. (GROANS)
_________________________________

(BIRD CAWS)
_________________________________

(DOG HOWLS IN DISTANCE)
_________________________________

MARGE: (GASPS) Springfield.
_________________________________

I can't believe it,
but it got even crappier.
_________________________________

Oh, man.
_________________________________

(MUTTERING)
_________________________________

(CLANKING)
_________________________________

Oh, hiya, Midge.
_________________________________

Moe, what happened?
_________________________________

With the town sealed off

from the rest of the world,
_________________________________

things got a little nutty here.
_________________________________

Why are you dressed like that?
_________________________________

Well, I don't like to brag, but

I am now the emperor of Springfield.
_________________________________

BARNEY: No, you're not!
_________________________________

Yes, I am!
_________________________________

(EXPLOSION)
_________________________________

BARNEY: Okay. Hail, emperor.
_________________________________

CARGILL: Attention, Springfield.
_________________________________

Your government realized

that putting you inside this dome
_________________________________

was a terrible mistake.
_________________________________

Therefore, we're commencing

with Operation Soaring Eagle.
_________________________________

-(CHEERING)

-Which involves killing you all.
_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

(WHIRRING)
_________________________________

As I speak, we're lowering a small

but powerful bomb into your midst.
_________________________________

(BEEPING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Despite everything, I miss your father.
_________________________________

Me too.
_________________________________

His big fat ass could shield us all.
_________________________________

HOMER: Ten-hut!
_________________________________

At ease. I'm General Marriott Suites,
_________________________________

and I have an urgent
note from the president.

_________________________________

It says to release

this town immediately.
_________________________________

Why is it written on a leaf?
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

(HANDS SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Perfect.
_________________________________

Now Homer Simpson's going

to show he has cojones! Oops.
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(YELLS)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING AND CRYING GASPS)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(GASPING) D'oh!
_________________________________

(WHIMPERING) D'oh!
_________________________________

D'oh! D'oh!
_________________________________

Mom, I've gotta go find Colin.
_________________________________

Not now, sweetie.

Doomsday is family time.
_________________________________

-(GLASS SQUEAKING)

-HOMER: Oh! Oh!
_________________________________

-(BEEPING)

-(HARMONCIA PLAYING BLUES)
_________________________________

Hey. If one of us distracts Cargill,

the rest of us can climb up that thing.
_________________________________

Who'd be dumb enough to stay behind

while we escape with our lives?
_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT) My time to shine.
_________________________________

Hey! Mr. Big TV Man, look-a here.
_________________________________

What do you want?
_________________________________

Um... Look what

I can do with my thumb.
_________________________________

You wanna know how I do it?
_________________________________

Four generations of inbreeding?
_________________________________

Oh...
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(SHOES SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

I can smell fresh air.
_________________________________

(BIRDS CHIRPING)
_________________________________

I can hear birds.
_________________________________

I taste freedom.
_________________________________

HOMER: Excuse me! Watch out!
Coming through!

_________________________________

(HOMER YELLING)
_________________________________

(LOUD THUD)
_________________________________

(BEEPING)
_________________________________

(GROANS QUIETY)
_________________________________

I was tricked by an idiot!
_________________________________

Hey, I know how you feel. I was

beat in tic-tac-toe by a chicken.
_________________________________

Goodbye.
_________________________________

(STAMMERS)
_________________________________

Homer do good?
_________________________________

Actually, you doomed us all. Again.

Nice knowing you, Homer.
_________________________________

HOMER: But I...
_________________________________

(CRYING) Oh...
_________________________________

I can't do anything right. (GRUNTS)
_________________________________

-(RAPID BEEPS)

-(STEADY BEEPING RESUMES)
_________________________________

Get out of here!
_________________________________

-(PEOPLE JEERING)

-(HOMER WHIMPERING)
_________________________________

I've spent my entire life doing

nothing but collecting comic books,
_________________________________

and now there's only time to say...
_________________________________

Life well spent!
_________________________________

Okay, boys, when you meet Jesus,

be sure to call him Mr. Christ.
_________________________________

Will Buddha be there too?
_________________________________

-No.

-(DOOR CREAKS)
_________________________________

-Hey, Flanders.

-Bart.
_________________________________

How good to see ya.

And how terrible you're here.
_________________________________

Thanks.
_________________________________

Listen. I was just wondering if...
_________________________________

before I died,
_________________________________

I could pretend I had a father who...
_________________________________

cared for me.
_________________________________

Come here, son.
_________________________________

There's always room

for one more in the Flanders clan.
_________________________________

(QUIET HISSING)
_________________________________

(BEEP)
_________________________________

Come on, bomb-disarming robot.

You're our last hope.
_________________________________

ROBOT: Red wire. Blue wire.

Black is usually the ground.
_________________________________

-(GROANS) Uh, so much pressure.

-(METAL RATTLING)
_________________________________

Pressure!
_________________________________

(GUNSHOT)
_________________________________

He'd been talking about it,

but I didn't take him seriously.
_________________________________

Marge.
_________________________________

Marge! Marge!
_________________________________

-(SMACK)

-(THUD)
_________________________________

Oh, no, the epipha-tree!
_________________________________

Hey, I tried my best.

What am I supposed to do?
_________________________________

(WIND RUSHES)
_________________________________

But how am I supposed to get up there?
_________________________________

(HEAVENLY MUSIC PLAYS)
_________________________________

Oh...
_________________________________

Here, buy yourself something nice.
_________________________________

Homer? What the hell
are you doing now?
_________________________________

HOMER: Risking my life

to save people I hate
_________________________________

for reasons I don't

quite understand. Got to go!
_________________________________

First, one stop.
_________________________________

(BEEP)
_________________________________

(TIRES SQUEALING)
_________________________________

Bart? Son?
_________________________________

You think you could find it in your heart
_________________________________

to give your foolish old man

one more chance?
_________________________________

(MUMBLING) Oh, I don't know...
_________________________________

It seems to me, son,

that your father's saying that
_________________________________

he wants to spend

his last minute with you.
_________________________________

No! I can't do it.
_________________________________

I want a father who's the same

in the morning as he is at night. Oh...
_________________________________

What's that word?
_________________________________

BOTH: Consistency.
_________________________________

Thanks, losers.
_________________________________

Sorry, Homer.
_________________________________

I'll let you hold the bomb.
_________________________________

-(BEEPING)

-The man knows me.
_________________________________

(BART LAUGHING)
_________________________________

I wish Homer was my father.
_________________________________

And I wish you didn't have

the devil's curly hair.
_________________________________

(CRYING)
_________________________________

I've been taking your crap all my life!
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Whew! This feels good.
No wonder you do it.
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(ENGINE ROARING)
_________________________________

Okay, Bart, you've only got one shot

to throw that bomb through the hole.
_________________________________

Dad, in case I miss,
_________________________________

I'm sorry I said

I wish you weren't my father.
_________________________________

I don't blame you, son.
I wasn't much of a father.

_________________________________

Maybe it starts with the way

my dad raised me.
_________________________________

Yes. It's clear to me. It's just been

one long, unbroken cycle of...
_________________________________

Somebody throw the goddamn bomb!
_________________________________

(ENGINE REVS)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(HOMER SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
_________________________________

HOMER: D'oh!
_________________________________

(WATER BURBLING)
_________________________________

What? What's going on?
_________________________________

(WILD CHEERING)
_________________________________

(THUMPING)
_________________________________

(ANXIOUS STAMMERING)
_________________________________

(RELIEVED SIGHS)
_________________________________

(LOUD EXPLOSION)
_________________________________

(HIGH-PITCHED WHOOSH)
_________________________________

HOMER: We did it, boy!
_________________________________

Uh, Dad?
_________________________________

-(CRACKING)

-(HOMER YELPS)
_________________________________

(CRACKING CONTINUES)
_________________________________

(BOTH YELLING)
_________________________________

(YELLS)
_________________________________

(BOTH SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
_________________________________

(DISTANT SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING LOUDLY)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
_________________________________

(HOMER CONTINUES SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(YELPS)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

BOTH: Whoo-hoo!
_________________________________

-(EXPLOSION)

-(SHATTERING)
_________________________________

(EXCITED CHATTER)
_________________________________

Magnificent!
_________________________________

It's amazing no one was hurt!
_________________________________

(LOUD THUD)
_________________________________

Bye, everybody.
_________________________________

(DYING GROAN)
_________________________________

(WIND WHISTLING)
_________________________________

Now, that was a
great father-son activity.

_________________________________

CARGILL: Hello, Homer.
_________________________________

So we meet at last, whoever you are.
_________________________________

There's a couple of things they don't

teach you at Harvard Business School.
_________________________________

One is how to cope with defeat,

and how to handle a shotgun.
_________________________________

I'm going to do both right now.
_________________________________

Wait! If you kill my dad,
_________________________________

you'll never know

where the treasure is buried.
_________________________________

What treasure?
_________________________________

The Treasure of Ima Wiener.
_________________________________

I'm a wiener?
_________________________________

(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________

-Classic.

-Well, always leave them laughing.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Goodbye, sir.
_________________________________

(THUMP)
_________________________________

Maggie! What a great little

accident you turned out to be.
_________________________________

(SUCKING)
_________________________________

Colin? Colin!
_________________________________

Lisa? Colin's dead.
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

But his last words were,
_________________________________

(IRISH ACCENT) "Milhouse,

take care of Lisa. Hold her hand."
_________________________________

Uh... I got her all warmed up for you.
_________________________________

Colin! Whoo! Hi.
_________________________________

-Hey, you wanna go...

-Clean up the lake!
_________________________________

Well, I was gonna say

"get some ice cream," but okay.
_________________________________

(LAUGHS) Oh, I like ice cream.
_________________________________

Kind of sweaty. Sorry.
_________________________________

(LOUD CHEERING)
_________________________________

(GASPS) Boy, you survived! How?
_________________________________

(BARKING)
_________________________________

I love you, too.
_________________________________

(CHEERING AND WHISTLING)
_________________________________

Best kiss of my life.
_________________________________

Best kiss of your life so far.
_________________________________

(ELECTRIC SAW WHIRRING)
_________________________________

HOMER: Steady.
_________________________________

Steady.
_________________________________

Steady.
_________________________________

Uh, Dad?
_________________________________

Thanks, boy.
_________________________________

Steady.
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

Whoo-hoo!
_________________________________

-Waah!

-(BART LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(LOUD THUD)
_________________________________

(ROCK VERSION OF THE 

SIMPSONS THEME PLAYING)
_________________________________

SMITHERS:

They've taken everything, sir.
_________________________________

Smithers, I don't believe in suicide,
_________________________________

but if you'd like to try it,

it might cheer me up to watch.
_________________________________

(ROCK BAND

SHOUTING RHYTHMICALLY)
_________________________________

(ROCK BAND VOCALIZING)
_________________________________

(SONG ENDS)
_________________________________

This is Tom Hanks saying,
_________________________________

If you see me in person,
please, leave me be.
_________________________________

(CHORUS SINGING)
_________________________________

♪ Spider Pig, Spider Pig
_________________________________

♪ Does whatever a Spider Pig does
_________________________________

♪ Can he swing from a web?
_________________________________

♪ No, he can't, he's a pig
_________________________________

♪ Look out!
_________________________________

♪ He is a Spider Pig
_________________________________

♪ Look out!
_________________________________

♪ He is a Spider Pig
_________________________________

(SONG FADES OUT)
_________________________________

Come on, Dad, let's go.
_________________________________

I've been holding it since

they put the dome over the town.
_________________________________

You can wait. A lot of people

worked really hard on this film,
_________________________________

and all they ask is for you

to memorize their names.
_________________________________

Well, I want to make sure

no animals were harmed
_________________________________

during the filming of this movie.
_________________________________

LISA: Phew!

HOMER: Okay.
_________________________________

-(CRUNCH)

-Ooh, floor popcorn!
_________________________________

-(CHOMPING)

-CRUNCHING)
_________________________________

Wait, wait, wait! It looks like

Maggie has something to say.
_________________________________

Oh, my God, her first word!
_________________________________

Sequel?
_________________________________

MAN: (TO "LA MARSEILLAISE")
♪ Springfield doesn't have an anthem
_________________________________

(OTHERS JOIN IN) ♪ We thought
we had one, but we don't
_________________________________

(MORE JOIN IN)
♪ We paid a short guy to write it
_________________________________

♪ But we never saw him again
_________________________________

♪ The tune we stole from the French
_________________________________

♪ There's a few things they do well
_________________________________

♪ Like making love, wine and cheese
_________________________________

♪ Like Roqueforts,
Camemberts and Bries
_________________________________

♪ Springfield
_________________________________

♪ We're going to die
_________________________________

♪ Springfield
_________________________________

♪ I'm scared to die ♪
_________________________________

Assistant manager

isn't all it's cracked up to be.
_________________________________

Four years of film school for this?
_________________________________